Fatherhood

Try and Sleep

I'm so tired. Getting the boys to sleep was a difficult challenge, even more so when they were infants. I remember bringing them home that first night.

"Come on! It took me three weeks to afford these cots! Just sleep," I groaned as the babies just cried.

"Try rocking them to sleep," Maori said as she walked into the bedroom. I picked Niue up from the cot. Holding him close to me I slowly rocked him in my arms, but he kept crying. He was so small.

"I don't know? Try singing," Maori shrugged as she walked off. Singing? I didn't know any songs to sing. I guess I could... make one up.

"♫ Sit on the edge, look down at the sea. You can hear her sing her sweet melody. From the crimson red water and the glistening rocks. To the fish in the sea and circling hawks. The moon climbs through the sky as sun starts to sink. The waves put to sleep every thought that she thinks. On the edge of the cliff was where she used to be. But now her sweet songs come from the depths of the sea ♪" I sang. It was an old song I remembered; I never knew where it came from though.

Surprisingly, it worked. Niue fell asleep in my arms. He was so precious. How could she give him up? They are so beautiful.

"Dad?"

"Sammy! You're still up? It's so late. I thought Maori put you to bed," I said, I was honestly too tired to really do much more.

"Aunty told me to go to sleep but I heard crying," Samoa mumbled.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to Niue.

"Oh, uh, he's your new little brother," I answered.

"Brother? I have a brother?" He asked confusedly.

"Three actually. Meet your three baby brothers," I smiled tiredly.

"Were they abandoned as well? Is that where you were? You were saving them!?" Sammy said.

It felt like my heart broke as I looked down at Samoa. He looked happy. Did he really think all kids were abandoned? I didn't want to answer, he looked so excited.

"Can I sleep with them tonight?" He asked, smiling brightly. I was taken aback. He never wanted to sleep in a room without me.

"Sure, can you hold Niue while I get your mattress," I smiled tiredly as I gave the sleeping Niue to Samoa. I could pretty much see stars in his eyes. Samoa held Niue close to him.

I walked to get his mattress from my room, but by the time I came back Samoa had fallen asleep on the floor, curling his body around Niue. I couldn't help but smile. I placed the mattress down and picked up my two sleepy boys. Placing Niue in the same cot as Cook and lying Samoa down on his mattress.

I love them so much, but raising them as a single dad is not going to be easy.

Suddenly the phone rang.

After they had fallen asleep, I walked into the kitchen to get myself a drink. These days I find it difficult to fall asleep without the aid of beer.

As I grabbed a can from the minifridge behind the rubbish bin, I could hear Paua and Jade barking outside. Looking out the window I could see Samoa climbing over the fence. I chuckled to myself when I heard the thud from the other side of the fence meaning he didn't stick the landing.

I was never sure about what he was doing that late at night, but I never stopped him, he always came back by morning anyway. He had been doing this for a couple years now. I didn't want to stop his fun. Sometimes I think back to my childhood and remember how I always wanted to run away. The difference was that if I was successful, I would never come back willingly.

I walked into the lounge to watch what he was doing as the window had a great view of the street. I watched as drove out on his motorbike, at least he had his helmet on. If there was ever a night, he didn't wear his helmet, these late-night escapes would be over.

I sat back, slowly drinking my beer, trying to stop thinking all together. I let out a loud yawn and decided to head to bed. I couldn't be bothered to get changed. I downed the rest of the drink and threw the can in the bin next to my bed. It wasn't until I flopped my body on the bed that I realised how overflowed the bin really was. I had been pretty lazy recently.

I felt really tired, but my brain made sure to remember that I had to go to work tomorrow. I eventually started to drift off. But as always, every time I tried to close my eyes.

"Daaaaaaaad!" The inevitable argument began. Part of me wanted to ignore them and let them fight it out, but memories of the last time I tried that flooded my head. I was not going to let them put more holes in the walls.

I let out a drawn-out sigh and got out of bed. I wandered slowly towards their bedroom and opened the door.

"Seriously guys? You can't go by the system for more than a day?" I said tiredly.

"We are! It's my turn to sleep on the top bunk!" Niue whined.

"You slept on it last night! It's my turn!" TK argued back.

"If you guys don't work this out, I'll sleep on the top bunk and no one gets it for the next week." I snapped at them.

"Why can't we get our own rooms." Cook added to conversation.

"If you build your own room, you can have it, but for now, we don't have the room." I explained.

"Or you could sleep in the shed with the sheep. You would like it there, they smell just like you," Niue said smugly.

"Look, I'm tired. Cook gets the top bunk tonight, and I'm going back to bed." I yawned as I turned around to leave.

"Mum would have let me have the top bunk." TK grumbled. Niue hit TK over the head.

"Excuse me? What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing..." TK mumbled.

"I thought so. And don't hit your brother Niue." I mumbled before walking off.