Living Again

CHAPTER 7

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

Kendra's POV

"My sister I am tired, she has completely changed," I overheard Mom speaking on the phone with someone. Probably another Charismatic member, she has been reporting me from one priest to another, from one brother to another sister "what kind of human being can stay for two months without laughing, crying, smiling or getting angry? I am really scared of that girl now oo," she added.

It was no longer a new thing that my Mom has pronounced me possessed and I don't blame her. It's been two months since I had the urge to express any emotion, simply put, I no longer understand them neither can I express them, Alexithymia.

"Mummy Good Morning Ma, I am going over to Sasha's, Sasha is picking me up," I said as I kissed her cheek.

Pretending not to hear her conversations has been the best escape route for me this past two months, If I overheard her conversation I was expected to be mad or sad about it and when I don't, her fear of something actually being wrong with me would be confirmed and I don't want that.

"Come home on time," she said and waved me good bye.

No one knew about this disorder I have, and I have been trying to keep it away but it's hard to keep something you have no control over away.

Sasha was already waiting in front of my gate, somehow she had convinced me into getting treatments from her since I didn't want to open up about the whole situation and somehow my best friend happened to be studying psych. Today we were going to attempt making me angry and she had decided that going to a club was the perfect way to get me angry.

"I am telling you that those jerks in the club are enough to get you irritated if not angry," She said as we drove to school, it was a free day but in order to leave peacefully I had to come up with a suitable excuse. I hated lying to my Mom but I dreaded her worrying over me.

"I just hope you are right this time, I have no idea how you talked me into this," I said to her.

"I know you haven't gotten over what happened the last time and I am sorry about that, I just didn't expect such situation," She said in an apologetic tone.

We had decided to go with fear, she wanted to see if I could get afraid or if she could make me get afraid so she had asked me to follow her to the Lekki Conservation Centre and some how she had convinced me into paying the tourism price for the both of us. It was just a day's tour and we paid

"A hundred and twenty thousand naira just to walk on a suspension bridge?" I had asked when I discovered how much had left my account.

"I heard the sight is beautiful," she pushed further. We were here to make me get afraid not to enjoy nature on a suspension bridge of a hundred and twenty thousand.

"How is that supposed to make me afraid?" I asked.

"You are afraid of height," she said feeling so proud. Yes, I was afraid of heights but not anymore, I could climb a skyscraper right now and wouldn't give a damn about falling down from the top, because right now I couldn't care less, that's just how I feel. Even though I was supposed to get afraid or something, how would walking over a suspension bridge help?

I gave in to her, I always do because saying no was never an option when in came to Sasha. On the day of the walk, she had decided to wear boot heels. I tried talking her out of wearing it but she had insisted that fear comes when you are on double heights.

"Imagine trying to balance on heels on a suspension bridge, isn't that thrilling?" She had asked but I said nothing. I let her do whatever made her happy but I had firmly said no when she tried talking me into doing the same. I wore a simple top and shorts, my hair was plaited all back so I simply tied a Bandana on it to prevent the sun from hitting it.