Me After You ✔

EPILOGUE 01: A letter from Knott

Dear Arthit,

I hope you are well.

This is the ninth letter which I'm writing to you, and I'm wondering how many more letters I would have to write before you finally reply. Actually, I'm just kidding – it's alright even if I don't receive your reply, because I know that you have read, and will continue to read, all the letters which I have sent.

Ever since we bade farewell to each other, I haven't been able to receive any news about how you were doing, or how you were coping. In the end, I decided to ask Nai for an update. Nai told me, that you were living an untroubled and peaceful life.

I believe Nai when he told me that you were at peace. Only because, Arthit, you are entirely, and absolutely, different from all the other people whom I have previously met.

Time flies; in the blink of an eye, an entire year has already come and gone. Although I originally intended to write to you every single month, I was ultimately unable to do so as I have simply been too busy.

Life in Lampang remains normal and uneventful. Kongpob has also been leading a peaceful and untroubled life; his daily routine, like what I have told you previously, consists of going to the workshop, and picking up new skills.

Last month, Kongpob worked in an assembly line and assisted in the assembly of equipment. This month, Kongpob learnt how to operate the grinding machine, and helped to shape various tool bits required by the machine tool factory.

Kongpob is extremely intelligent, and is able to learn extraordinarily quickly whilst on the job. In fact, he had just managed to make another amazing contribution yesterday! As I earlier mentioned, he is currently helping to shape the various tool bits required by the machine tool factory – and yesterday, he managed to reduce the error in the size of the tool bits produced by him to the record-breaking range of 0.001 mm! Although I'm not well versed in the technicalities of machinery and their rates of wear and tear, my colleagues in charge of overseeing Kongpob's team have indicated that Kongpob's precision has helped the machine factory to save millions of dollars.

My colleagues have also indicated that Kongpob has been exceedingly well-behaved and sensible, and that he possesses an attitude that others in his position do not possess. Majority of the inmates possess a devil-may-care attitude, and are just hoping to get by until their time of release; conversely, Kongpob is extraordinarily diligent and serious in picking up new skills, and is making every effort to secure an early release from prison.

Kongpob has also matured; I heard from my colleagues that, despite having been in prison for a fair amount of time, Kongpob has always been extremely cool-headed, and excellent at keeping his emotions in check. The only time Kongpob nearly lost his cool and almost got into a fight, was when his fellow cellmate secretly opened one of the letters you wrote to him – but in the end, nothing happened.

In the end, Kongpob grit his teeth, and reined in his anger.

Kongpob's performance has been exceptional. However, he remains as taciturn and tight-lipped as ever. The lady responsible for teaching the inmates History, Literature and Geography is similar in age to Kongpob, and is fairly gentle and easy-going; even then, her attempts to pry Kongpob's mouth open always ends in failure.

She confided in me, and told me that although Kongpob is extremely serious during class, he doesn't have any respect for the teachers, and that he never ever greets the teachers even when they bump into each other outside of class. I told her jokingly that, unlike normal people, Kongpob's eyes were located at the top of his head, and accordingly, he wasn't able to see any of the teachers.

I just went to visit Kongpob last week, and he looked like he grew taller. But, what about you, Arthit? Have you grown taller too?

Kongpob also looked as skinny as ever. My guess, is that you would also be the same.

Also, now that some of my efforts are finally coming to fruition, I thought it would be an opportune time to tell you about such efforts. Last year, I submitted various applications to my superiors requesting for permission to organize various activities aimed at raising awareness about school violence (and consequently, preventing and resisting such school violence). My superiors spent a fair amount of time considering, revising and debating the proposal – and now, I am finally pleased to say, that we have a concrete action plan which will be put into motion shortly.

I guess, there is truly no such thing as an "unsolvable problem" in this world. If one encounters any such "unsolvable problem" it is simply because people have yet to expend sufficient effort, and grant adequate attention, in resolving such an "unsolvable problem".

Now that I have come to such a realization, I frequently think back on our past, and wonder, if there was just one single person – any person, really – could have given the bullying problem sufficient attention and effort when the issue was first raised when Jay and Namtarn were called to the police station, would things have turned out differently?

Arthit, in the end, I still owe you.

And, even now, after all this time, I still wish to apologize to you.

Because I rashly and irresponsibly gave you my word, because I failed to live up to the trust you placed in me, because I was ultimately unable to protect you; all these factors eventually contributed to the mistrust and suspicion with which you viewed and treated law enforcement officers, and, in the end, when you were at your lowest point, when you were overwhelmed with isolation and helplessness, you were unable to find the right path to take.

But I know, if I were to tell you this in person, you would simply comfort me in your usual quiet tone, and tell me, that the blame doesn't fall entirely on me.

You're always so calm, and you have always been able to view issues and problems with a holistic viewpoint.

But, Arthit, I frequently wonder, and I feel compelled to ask, whether, having been through all that you have been through, you continue to believe – whether you are able to continue believing in truth, in beauty, in kindness, in goodness, and in trust and belief itself.

If your answer is yes, then I would be eternally grateful.

Knott Ittikorn
28 July 2019.