You're not alone

Part 30

As they got home Jolene had already prepared lunch and was waiting for them at the kitchen table. "Hey guys." She sighed and Andrew immediately noticed that something was wrong. But as he looked at Meredith he quickly realized that Meredith hadn't. She never noticed things like that. "Hey." He said, wanting to give their mother the opportunity to talk abut what seemed to be going on in case she wanted to do so anyways.

"How was your day?" she asked as both kids sat down at the table. And only now he noticed that Jolene's eyes were slightly reddened. Had she been crying about something. "It was okay." Andrew said slowly, risking a glance at Meredith who had started to scratch her fingers again. As Jolene noticed it as well she looked back at Andrew and all of the sudden he understood what was going on here. He gave her a look of shock but all he received was Jolene almost unnoticeable shaking her head to make sure Andrew wouldn't say anything. He had wanted to help her. He didn't want this to happen.

"Mer?" she asked, making Meredith look up. "Fine." She said, quickly looking down again. Andrew sighed, supporting his head with his hands. Why did everything had to go so terribly wrong. "Did you get any tests back?" Jolene asked but slowly Andrew was starting to freak out internally. "For god's sake mom, just tell her. Stop avoiding the topic." He said, almost yelled, making Meredith flinch. Immediately tears welled up in Meredith's eyes and she started to get even more nervous. "Tell me what?" she whispered, obviously terrified abut what could possibly be going on.

"I told mom about your fingers this morning." Andrew sighed as Jolene stayed silent. "You did what?" Meredith asked and even though he had expected her to shout at him she didn't. She just looked disappointed what absolutely broke his heart. As he met her eyes he couldn't help but tear up to. "Mer, it was good that he told me." Jolene said softly. All three of them sat in complete silence for the next few minutes. Meredith was crying silently while Andrew was just extremely angry at his mother. He knew what she had done or what she wanted to do. He had meant to help her by telling Jolene about Meredith's fingers but instead he had just made everything worse.

"Mer I talked to Dr. Bloom." Jolene said and as Meredith heard this man's name she didn't know what else to do but stand up and run up the stairs. She didn't want to hear that her mother wanted to admit her to a mental hospital. She didn't want to think about that Andrew had been the one leading her to make this decision. She didn't want the only two people in her live to be the ones doing this to her because right now, going to this clinic was her worst nightmare. She pulled her chair up to the door to make sure no one could enter the room before she took of her prothesis, curled up in bed and started to cry.

She was crying so hard that she didn't even hear Andrew hammering against her door, begging her to let him in because he wanted to do nothing but comfort and help her. It was all his fault that Meredith was crying right now. She was crying because of him, because he hadn't been able to believe her and shut his mouth about this. Only as he started to kick the door hardly the chair finally moved and he was able to enter the room. At the sight in front of him he started to cry as he now walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. She was sobbing, trembling and shaking as she tried to push him away, kicking him and hitting him as hard as she could. It hurt terribly but he kept fighting against her until he managed to keep her still. He had his arms tightly wrapped around hers while his legs were trapping her right one. She couldn't really hurt him with her left leg and he also didn't want to hurt her stump.

"I'm sorry Mer, I didn't mean to make her decide that. I didn't think she would call Dr. Bloom, I'm so sorry." He said, trying to be louder than her cries to make sure she would hear him. Since Meredith wasn't really strong and easily got out of breath it didn't take long until she stopped trying to escape his grip and went limp in his arms, giving into him. And as breathing started to become hard for her too she started to calm down again and her crying got less and less until she stopped and he only heard her sniffle from time to time.

"I'm sorry Mer." He said again, hoping she would hear and believe him. "I love you Meredith, I would never do something to intentionally harm you okay? I was trying to help, I thought mom could talk to you about it, I didn't know she would immediately call him." He said, carefully loosening his grip on her, hoping she wouldn't immediately start beating him up. And she didn't. She stayed silent and cuddled herself tiredly into his arms. "I know. I'm just really scared." He heard her whisper after a while. "That's totally understandable Mer. But I promise you, all me and mom want is to help you and make you feel better okay? We both love you. I love you so much." He soothed her, kissing the top of her head and just continuing to hold her.

After another few minutes passed they heard a knock at the door and after another few seconds Jolene entered the room. "I'm sorry baby. I just want to get you the best care possible. I want to help you and make sure you get better. And right now you can't get better here Meri." She said softly, starting to stroke Meredith's cheek. "Kay." Meredith sighed, exhausted from the crying and kicking, slowly starting to relax while Andrew held her. "Don't be mad Mer, I promise we'll come visit you a lot. And you'll be so much better afterwards."

"I'm not mad. I'm sorry I freaked out." Meredith said silently, her eyes closed. "It's okay, I love you little one." Jolene said, kissing Meredith's forehead lovingly before looking up at Andrew and smiling at him too before getting up again and leaving the room.

"You promise you'll still love me when I come back?" Meredith asked after another few minutes had passed where neither of them had said anything. "I promise you. I'll always love you." He reassured her, burying his nose into her hair, breathing in her wonderful scent. "And- and can I take some of your sweatshirts?" she then asked, making him chuckle. "You can take all of them. They're a lot cuter on you anyways." He gave back, smiling even brighter as he heard her infectious giggle. "Thank you." She said, sighing in content, trying to burn this moment into her head. She was scared to go to that clinic but at least she knew that Andrew wouldn't leave her and also Jolene would still be there when she would come home again. And maybe it would really help and afterwards she would be a new person. Her anxiety could get better and maybe she will have less panic attacks. And even if not it was worth a try. "It'll be okay." She heard him say, making her smile even brighter. "It'll be okay." She echoed sleepily, slowly falling asleep in Andrew's arms, feeling entirely safe while he was there.