Lost and Found

Chapter 26

This chap is Mer Centric, but the next chapter will have most of the other couples. I intended to combine them, but it was just... a lot and stuff came out when I was writing that I was like WTF? You'll see.

Enjoy!

Six weeks ago:

Meredith gaped at the woman in the doorway of Zola's room.

"That whole leaping thing. I think now is a good time." Arizona said softly.

"But-" Meredith pointed at Arizona, and then at Zola, who was busy squeezing the glove balloon she'd made for her. "You and Callie-"

Arizona sighed. "Are working on our marriage... adding another kid? I don't think it'll help right now... but you... Meredith, I've seen the way you look at her. And I think it's time... there's something about you and her together that..." she shook her head. "Give it a chance, won't you?"

Meredith looked back at Zola, who was curiously regarding the three people in the room with her. What was happening here? Arizona wanted her to adopt Zola? But-

Her previous call to family services about Anna had been a little impulsive. On the curtails of grief and loss of Derek and her own child. And now suddenly there was a social worker right in front of her, and there wasn't a list of people wanting to adopt Zola.

But she was dark and twisty. Scary and damaged. She'd already started to resign herself to the fact that she wasn't mother material. She couldn't be a mother. Could she? Her heart burned... her uterus ached.

Goddamn biological clock.

"Meredith," Janet said, stepping forward. "So nice to meet you in person this time. We talked on the phone when you expressed interest in adopting Anna." She held out her hand.

Meredith shook it, nervous butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "Oh... uh, hi. Hi Janet."

"Why don't we step outside to talk for a minute?" She asked.

They found a quiet room, and Meredith's legs felt weak as she plopped down on the chair across from Janet. She wasn't ready. She didn't know what to say. The last four years... she was a wreck. And Janet would find out... about the depression and her love of tequila and her eighty hour weeks, and the frat house she called home, and the fact that there was no father figure in the picture and... her mother had all the nurturing of a steak knife and-

"So Meredith, tell me about how you met Zola the first time. I hear that's a special story."

Her breath caught and she looked down at her fingers. "I um... I watched her being operated on... and there was a minute where her sats dropped, and she went into SVT. But before the doctors administered any drugs, she went back into sinus rythmn all on her own. I knew then that she was a fighter. Her and I, we were fighters."

"Arizona said you were in an accident." Janet commented.

Horrible memories slid to the surface. That scary screech of brakes and the devastating 'crunch' that followed. Waking up broken and empty. Struggling just to make it through one more day... just one more day.

"Meredith?" Janet asked.

She looked up at the older woman and tried to bury those thoughts and memories away. "I was... it took me a long time to recover. But... Zola helped. Seeing Zola." She shrugged and let out a long breath. "I was eight months pregnant when I was in the accident and...she didn't make it, my daughter died."