Lost and Found

Chapter 30

A/N: Ready for some more drama?

Enjoy!

"Did you see her? Did you see my baby?" Meredith panted, out of breath from her mad dash after Penny. She didn't know what happened, but something compelled her to chase after the resident after avoiding her in the elevator.

"Dr. Grey-" Penny looked up nervously.

"I was in a coma for a long time, I just-" She'd missed the burial... she never got to hold her child, she'd never even been able to bring herself to see the chart. Waking up empty and broken, her own guilt and pain kept her from wanting to know any more about her baby. Until now. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. "Did you see her?"

Penny looked down and seemed to gather herself, her knuckles white from clutching the tablet tight across her chest. "Y-yes... I... um, I saw her."

Meredith's heart pounded and her body flushed. Woozy, she leaned against the rail and slowly let herself sit on the stairs. "You did?" her voice was soft, brittle, broken. Quite different from the harsh Get out! Get out! Get out! she'd screamed at Penny earlier.

"Yes," Penny confirmed, meeting Meredith's watery gaze. She stepped closer, seeing the questions in her attending's eyes. The young woman knelt down on the stairs, looking up at her. She swallowed. "I handed her off to pediatrics after she was delivered..."

Meredith nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"She was... she was beautiful, Dr. Grey." Penny fidgeted with the tablet.

"Meredith," Dr. Grey was too impersonal for this conversation.

"Meredith." Penny nodded. "Your daughter... she was five pounds, three ounces, a little small, but not unusual," she sniffed. "Um... fifteen inches long."

Again, Meredith tearfully nodded, imagining her baby in her arms. Lifting her gaze upward and away from Penny, she could almost see her daughter, feel her tiny weight in her arms, smell her sweet baby smell.

"When she cried-"

"She cried?" Meredith sat up. Nobody had told her that. It made sense now, the cry in her nightmares that always woke her up. Had she heard it while she lay unconscious? Fighting for her life in an outdated hospital? Had she heard it and her subconsious kept it alive for her in her dreams?

"Yeah..." Penny's hand reached up and rested on the same step Meredith was sitting on. "Her cry... I'll never forget it. It was... fierce. Like she wanted to fight."

"Fierce," Meredith whispered, the cry once again echoing in her thoughts. Derek's voice, clear as yesterday, "You're not finished," he told her in her dreams. She swallowed thickly, vaugely aware of the red-hot tears that were streaming down her face.

She stifled a sob. That cry haunted her. Only reminding her of her detrimental loss. But now hearing from Penny that her daughter did indeed cry... it meant something different. For a little while, her daughter had breathed. She had exited her womb alive and kicking.

Which broke her heart even more.

"She had dark curly hair..." Penny continued, forcing Meredith out of her heartbreak. "I didn't get her APGAR. You were..." The red haired surgeon shook her head, "I handed her off to peds and then I was pulled back to your case to get you stabilised for surgery."

Surgery. Right. Her injuries had been severe. She was lucky to even survive the ambulance ride. Owen told her as much. And if anyone knew her chances, it would be Owen.

"When you got out of surgery... I was finishing... I was stitching up your head lac when Dr. Ramsay informed... your mother-in-law about your baby... and-" Penny choked up then, her lips turning downward in a tight frown, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I- It's just so... wrong and unfair. She was breathing. She was pink and healthy... I-" Penny wiped her cheeks. "She should have lived... your baby... She should have lived."