~NEW MOON~ [2]

🌙| 016. "what have you done, Paul?"-Seb

I have loved you

I have loved you I have loved you 

I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you 

I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you

I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you 

I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you

 I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you

 I have loved you I have loved you I have loved you

I have loved you I have loved you

I have loved you 

My eyes open, the cold pulling me under a calm. I could see myself in the golden orbs. My hair was disheveled, and I had dark bags under my eyes.

"Jasper", my voice felt dry, "I am never drinking again", he wraps his arm around me, humming in response. He didn't talk that night. Not a single word. His fingers kept on massaging my scalp but there was something else in the room, a blade hanging over my heart, waiting for a moment to cut it in two equal halves like that's what I'm destined to be.

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I have always hated waking up to an empty bed since the Cullens left.

Isabella was staring at me; I knew a lecture was coming plus some explanation of how we came back home.

"Paul helped me to carry you to your room", she stands up abruptly, the noises were making my head hurt. Her face melts into a motherly embrace, she helps me with water and aspirin.

"Paul was here?", I asked her, that may explain why Jasper felt weird, so much for drinking and letting loose myself.

"You wouldn't leave his side", she looks at me, thinking whether she wants to say it or not, in the end, she goes with the second one, shaking her head, discarding whatever she was trying to say.

"Ella, spit it out", I learn on the backrest, the warmth from the blanket slowly melting in the surroundings.

"You kept on muttering, he loves me", sure, Jasper loves me.

"Paul loves me, that's what you said", her words remind me of my dream. The blade fell without any warning, slicing my heart into two. Blood pools inside my body, I could feel it churning in two places now.

The weak organ of flesh and love was now pumping as two instead of a whole, a tremor of pain erupted in my chest, and bile-filled my throat. I pushed myself away from the bed and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

Bella's voice dissolves in the void. I could feel Jasper's kisses on my body, the countless portraits which filled the garage, of those honey ichor eyes, the skin that the gods were jealous of them, the love which made me feel like god's favorite son.

The love that kept me together and now there was another, an old love that had aged like fine wine.

"What have you done Paul?", I stare in the mirror, "what have you done?", I ask myself

Paul Pov

Sam hasn't stopped giving me a lecture about what I said to Sebastian.

"That was absolutely true", I shouted at him, I have loved Sebastian since his thirteenth birthday, even though I never knew what love was at that time. In my house, love being beaten by your husband and then running away and finding a new one.

But with Sebastian, love was like a picnic, a mother's lullaby, the aftertaste of your favorite candy, a yearning, a depth- his eyes, a never-ending ocean, love was every action that Sebastian can conjure. His anger, his smile, his sadness, his happiness, his slurred words, love was Sebastian, he was my love.

"I don't care about that, Sebastian was drunk, what if he had kissed you, would you have stopped yourself?", Sam asks me, pain blossoms over my chest, "Sebastian", I whisper his name, sharing my strength.

"How dare you think so low of me", my wolf wanted out, "I didn't mean that", Sam looked at the ground, he knew he went too far, "Sebastian is family, with a vampire as mate and a werewolf as his mate, he can't live a simple life", he moves toward me, pulling me for a hug.

"Protect him, always", he whispers slowly, like he has failed to protect him.

Since I shifted into a wolf, I knew there were some memories that Sam kept hidden, a white space, an empty mind, that's how he felt.

"I will always protect him as the moon protects us", I tell him sincerely. I would rather have my own heart ripped out than see Sebastian getting a scratch.

◐ ◐ ◯ ◑ ◑ 

"And the things we love are the ones which we lose in seconds" 

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A/N: JESUS, IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED.

COLLEGE IS REALLY TIRING

BUT OMG THANKS FOR 34K READS ON THE FIRST PART

THAT MOTIVATES ME A LOT

THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT IT'S LIKE THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING NEW .

MAKE SURE TO COMMENT AND VOTE

ILY ALL <3