Counting Paths

Chapter 30.

The next morning...
Waking up to the background noise of breakfast being made, I crack my eyelids open. Then I jump, startled by Lisi just sitting there watching me. "What are you doing?" I ask him.

"You have a big nose. Am I going to have a big nose?"

"Your nose is already big."

He nods. "Fair enough."

I sit up from my spot on the floor, inhaling the scent of bacon and french toast, and glance around the cabin. Almost everything has been put away, the protector, the toys, and the bed. Luna and Sterling are in the kitchen. Luna's at the stove, half-paying attention to the food, half-paying attention to her phone, and Sterling's reading the first book of the Shatter Me series she made me buy her a couple of days ago at the table.

"Roland...?" Lisi places his cupped hand on my cheek, demanding my full attention. I look into his eyes that easily mirror mine and see he's hesitant. He seems to be struggling to look me in my eyes, and only finds success at looking at my eyebrows.

"What's up?"

He winces and shakes his head, like his answer would cause physical pain. But then he opens his eyes and stares into my soul. "Can I call you dad?"

I release a breath I feel like I've been holding for a very, very long time. I nod. "Yeah...yeah, I would really like that."

"Good!" He jumps to his feet and rushes over to Sterling.

I get up, crack my knuckles and neck, and cross the room to Luna.

"Lisi just-"

"I'm sorry but can you stay here with the kids for a bit?" She cuts me off before I can tell her the good news. She types out a text with aggressively fast thumbs and presses send. Then she shoves her phone into her back pocket, finally giving me her full attention. "I need to head into town and pick something up."

"We should all go. Where's the nearest mall? I can spoil everyone with gifts."

"We can go after I come back from town. Alone."

"Oh...kay. Do you need money?"

"No, I'm good."

"What's so important in town that you need to go alone for?"

She glances at the kids, then grabs my arm and pulls me aside, out of earshot from them. But I doubt they're listening. I can hear pieces of their conversations, and Sterling's complaining about Lisi blowing on her and trying to touch her, but he swaers he isn't.

"I need the morning-after pill," Luna tells me in a lowered voice.

"But we used a condom."

"It broke."

"Yeah, but after-"

"It broke, Roland."

"Okay, and I get that...but what if you didn't take the pill?"

She chuckles nervously. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah-yes."

"Roland, we can't...I can't...You just met your son yesterday afternoon, now you want a baby?"

"Look...Lisi just asked if he could call me dad. He didn't actually call me it but I know when he does, it won't go unnoticed. It won't be meaningless. But, and I feel like an ass saying this-"

"Then don't say it!"

"It won't be the same as it being his first word. I know I haven't been a father figure to Sterling for long and I just meet Lisi, but I'm not getting any younger. Call it rash thinking-"