Counting Paths

Chapter 34.

We take Russell and Sterling to the morgue by the house. The morgue I run. They did an autopsy and confirmed that they both died from a dangerous amount of blood loss. Russell's bullet holes and Sterling's cut wrists. But they also confirmed that Sterling was tortured before she died. She has wounds on her fingertips that were cost by needles and not by the broken glass, bruises and cuts on her back as if she was dragged for a long distance, and a needle injection on her neck that was inserted more than once.

I threw up.

Then, after what felt like days, I'm finally able to put my anger aside and talk to someone.

"What do you want to do?" Frank asks me.

I try to think. "Did you know if he wanted to be buried?"

"He wanted to be cremated."

I nod. "So we'll do that. But I want to see if we can find any of his family-" 

"He didn't have any family," he blurts out in a rough voice. 

I peer up at him from my spot on the floor and see the pain written on his face. Then it dawns on me that Russell and Frank were a lot closer than I realize. They were always with each other, you didn't see one without the other-well, that was the case before Sterling came around. But if Russell wasn't with Sterling then he was with Frank. 

"I'm sorry," I finally tell him. 

He nods almost reluctantly and averts his eyes. "Yeah, he always said he would die for her. I guess he was making up for what happened to Bo." 

"You knew about his sister?" 

"Yeah." He points to the spot next to me. I nod and he sits down beside me. Together we sit on the floor of the corridor in the morgue. "I know dying to save Sterling is how he wanted to go." 

She was dead before he was, I want to say but remain quiet. I don't think it matters. Russell promised to protect Sterling and, wherever they are now, he still is. She's not alone. 

I clear my throat loudly. "I don't want to do anything until I come up with something to do for Sterling. I think we should let them be together."

"Russell would like that," he whispers. 

"And I need you to call Arleen and George and tell them the bad news-I mean-" I groan, shutting my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'll ask someone else to do it." 

"No, I can do it," he insists. "But what do I say if they want her body?"

I release my nose, press my head against the wall, and stare up flickering light above up. That's fucking appropriate for a morgue. "You tell them no. They lost their daughter a long time ago. In the end, Sterling was my kid." I curl my hands into fists. "Arleen should consider herself pretty damn lucky I'm allowing her to see Sterling." 

"Wait." I feel Frank's dark brown eyes land on me. "You're going to let her go to the funereal?" 

"I'm not entirely sure yet."

There's a long pause of silence, then Frank sighs heavily. "At least they won't be alone." 

#   #   #

Frank and I stayed at the morgue while the guys came over and paid their respect. 

I wanted to scream. 

A line was formed as everyone showed up, they bowed their heads once they reached Russell's body on the table, but they grew almost awkward when they moved on to Sterling. I was always aware of what they thought about her; the boss's kid that everyone had to tip-toe around out of fear she might report them. But, as much as it bothered me, she would never do that. I know if I hadn't caught Joe that day, Sterling would've never said anything. Thanks to Arleen's shitty parenting, it was burned into Sterling's head that no one would ever believe her or defend her.