ᴄʟᴜʙ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅᴏx | ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅᴏx ʟɪᴠᴇ

i felt younger when we met | miyama kei

» person beside you was a stranger. he only looked like miyama kei but there wasn't an ounce of semblance between the one you loved and the one beside you.

(beta who?)

—

you didn't know when it started, or was it there all along; hiding in the nooks and crannies of your battered heart?

you didn't know when you started to feel this way about miyama kei, it felt like something was off– he wasn't the same miyama kei you sworn your heart and the rest of your life to. maybe that was a tad bit dramatic– you weren't married to him. you were just a significant other to him, and him to you.

everything was stale nowadays, like still water; like the color in your life was stolen and pried away from your fingertips. gone were the days where the two of you would be hanging out in comfortable silence, contented just by the presence of each other's company.

the spotlight that focused on him felt nothing but blinding lights to you, you felt the huge lights shine on you and scorch your skin.

you said you love him to death, so you must be dead right?

you felt like everything was changing too suddenly and it was tumultuous. the other week, he was out of town performing in the biggest stage he's had yet, with what you considered his friends, the idols from visty.

and now, he's quit and "disappeared".

you wanted to walk out, you wanted to walk away. you wanted to at least get an explanation pertaining to his recent actions. as his significant other, weren't you supposed to be the first to know? how would you be able to support him if you didn't know what was bothering him in the first place?

in a span of a few weeks, he's become unreachable. like a star that's too far out in the sky, something you couldn't reach and something you could never hold.

if this continues on, you were worried that he might run away, leaving behind picture frames that captured moments of your lives together. from first meeting his little brother, to him first auditioning as an idol, to him in his first concert, arms wrapped around you behind the stage, sweat dripping but his face held the sweetest smile.

what would it take to see that smile again? you wondered.

you sighed as you observed the empty spot beside you in his bed. you can't even remember the last time where the both of you laid there, staring at the ceiling talking about whatever happened the morning before.

can't he see that he's the reason you can't sleep?

"___!" you heard kei exclaim as the door loudly shut behind him, startling you. his labored breathing evident from running trying to find you in the house you both "lived" in.

"kei...?" you asked unsure if this was another hallucination or the real thing.

"i found my brother!"

and that was the first chance you missed, trying to walk away from him. had you gotten up sooner and packed your bags you wouldn't be caught up in another string of events that soon followed.

"what do you mean we're going to take both of them in? your brother i could understand, but a complete stranger?!" you raised your voice, aggravated by his sudden spontaneity.

"itsuki is like a brother to him, something happened to my brother in that facility, ___! you wouldn't understand!" kei raised his voice.

"then make me understand, kei! make me understand!" you countered.

"it's not something that could be easily discussed." he said, dismissively.

"then we can just sit and talk about it, we have all the time in the world kei..." you trailed off to which he smiled bitterly in response.