A Murderer's Guide to Fake Dating

03. is dating me that bad?

I must have misheard. The shock of killing someone has made my mind go haywire and now I'm imagining Jack saying such nonsensical words. 

"What did you say?" I sound unnecessarily aggressive like a little terrier snapping at something twice its size. 

"I said, I'll help you hide the body but in return, you have to be my girlfriend," Jack repeats solemnly. 

I look at him strangely. Is he drunk? That must be it. He's drunk and he's not thinking straight. "I'm not drunk," he says, reading my mind. It's always so disturbing when he does that. "I didn't touch the alcohol." 

"I don't understand." I'm still wrapping my mind over this mind-boggling deal. "First of all, it's illegal to help someone hide a body. If I get caught, you're getting caught too. Second, you want me to be your girlfriend? Girlfriend. As in someone you go on dates with, give adorable nicknames to, and kiss in the rain?" 

Jack looks slightly ill at the mention of all those activities but nods anyway. I am watching his expression for any sort of indication that this is a prank. Truth or dare, with his college buddies he saw on Tuesday lunch. He picked dare and being the misogynist, cruel, and uncaring people they are, they forced him to ask out the person he despised the most: me. Then afterward, when Jack explains what happens, they'll all have a good laugh. 

"You hate me," I say slowly. 

"I don't hate you," Jack responds. "I just find you slightly insufferable." 

I explode like a grenade. "See? Why would you date someone you find insufferable? And why me, specifically?" 

Jack hums thoughtfully. "You're the only one I can blackmail." 

"You—" I'm about to curse him out but refrain from doing so. As much as I hate it, I need to hear more details about the deal. "Okay. So. Okay. You want to dispose of the body and then I'll become your girlfriend." 

He nods and I'm speechless. "Let me think. Give me a minute. No, ten minutes." 

I step away, trying to organize my thoughts. The pros of the deal. Getting rid of the dead body. A delayed arrest. Cons? Guilt, criminality, sins weighing on my soul, etc. Plus... 

I look at Jack, who returns my stare with a challenging arch of his eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he drawls. "Is dating me that bad?" 

"Yes." 

Despite his terrible attitude, Jack Lim is gorgeous. Soft black hair that falls into casually messy bangs. Whiskey-colored eyes, framed by thick sooty lashes. A full mouth that rarely curls into a smile, unless it's to smirk at my uselessness. But still. Even if he's drop-dead gorgeous, I wouldn't willingly date someone like him. 

"Give me more information about being your girlfriend," I say. "I can't decide if I'm left with a vague deal." 

"If you must know, we aren't going to actually date." 

The moment the words come out, my head snaps up so hard, my neck cracks. "Are you talking about fake dating?" I ask in disbelief. The quick bob of his head confirms that the world is ending soon. "Wait, why, though?" 

He looks embarrassed as hell and I take a mental screenshot. This will go in the section of my brain where pictures of Jack—surprisingly not being an arrogant piece of scum—hang. So far, I have three pictures of him hanging with golden frames. The words underneath: Jack being a normal human being. I guess there's a fourth picture now. 

"I just do." Jack is stubborn, but so am I. I tilt my head, motioning for him to continue. Jack struggles with his words. It's beautiful. "It's... for a wedding."