Afterglow ❃ l.m.j

• chapter forty one •

Normani carried my duffel bag to the car in silence that night after work. Even though we seemed fine on the way in, her disposition changed by the end of the day. I couldn't put my finger on it except for the fact that she could barely look me in the eye and her words were short. I withdrew into myself as a result, settling into the seat beside her and folding my arms. She cleared her throat and turned the car on. I felt her sideways glance as her seatbelt clicked.

"You okay?"

I nodded, clicking my own seatbelt as well. "Yeah."

Tension stretched between us like rubber clasps. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to soothe the goosebumps. Not knowing what was wrong was slightly bothering me. I chewed on my lip.

"Cold?" She asked mindlessly. I shook my head.

There were no other efforts to speak. I leaned my head on my hand. I tried to close my eyes. Maybe if I just left it alone, the nagging feeling that something was being unsaid would go away. But everytime I closed my eyes, I only realized how quiet it was.

I opened them again, looking over at her. Her mouth was in a straight line. She checked her mirrors.

I looked out the window then back at her. I couldn't help it anymore.

"Is there something wrong?" My thumbs rubbed along my biceps anxiously. It was hard to tell if I was making something out of nothing or accurately reading the room.

She barely showed any sign of emotion. There was just indifference on her face. She felt cold - an unusual feeling between us.

"I'm just in my head." She muttered.

I wasn't buying it. I pressed on a bit more.

"Is it over something I did? Something doesn't feel right, it feels like you aren't telling me something."

She sighed. Her shoulders hung down as if in defeat. She shook her head. "It isn't anything you were doing wrong, Lauren, you were just being you. I just, I have a lot on my mind. I don't want to talk about it right now, I don't have the right words to say."

"Just being me?" I made a face.

I watched as her hands tensed on the steering wheel. "I'm not prepared for this conversation, Lauren, I don't wanna say something wrong." When she seen that I wasn't giving in and looking at her expectantly, she rendered the wheel with one hand, placing her other on the center console. She tapped on it anxiously. "I'm just having a hard time, you know... Watching you be all over other people. I, fuck, I know it's your job... See, now I just feel like I sound stupid. I can't feel a way for something I walked into this knowing."

I folded my arms over my chest. "You don't sound stupid."

"I... Thank you." She grimaced, beginning to ramble. "I don't expect you to get it. You don't have to see me, you know, dancing on anyone or anything. But at the bar, I have a front row seat to the way everyone looks at you and I don't know why, but it bothers me. I know it's your job and I know you don't really want them. And at the same time, even if you did, we aren't together so you can do what you want. I couldn't be mad at you if you did."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "I wouldn't in a million years date someone from the club."

She raised an eyebrow, her eyes traveling towards me for a moment. "But that's where you met me. And look where we are. So it's not impossible."