Sin For Me

Chapter 9

My first instinct was to lie.
My mother would've hit me over the head with her Bible if she had known this.

But let's be real, what would she be more okay with?
Me telling a little white lie or me having sex out of wedlock and with someone of the same gender?
Exactly.

If anything, she should count her blessings.

"I've been busy." I said, yanking my hand free of Vivian's grasp.
See? It wasn't even a complete lie. I actually was busy (busy actively ignoring her.)

"Busy with what?" Vivian's tone was demanding as I avoided eye contact with her. I could feel her glaring daggers into the top of my head as I stared at the floor.
"Stuff." I mumbled.
"Open your mouth and speak properly." she was becoming impatient and her dark aura seemed to wrap around me, making me feel much smaller than I was.

I felt like rebellious teenager being reprimanded. Not cute.

"Stuff, Okay? I've been busy with stuff." I said as I folded my arms, putting extra emphasis on the word "stuff" to get on her nerves.

There was a beat of silence.

Vivian looked me up and down, a facial expression on her face that I couldn't quite describe.
Was she annoyed? Disgusted? Upset?

My heart pounded in my chest.
Was she...disappointed?

I could deal with many negative emotions, but her being disappointed in me wasn't one of them.
Definitely not because I have issues with my mother...pshhh...of course not...

"Is that it? Is that all you're going to say after you left without even saying goodbye?" she asked, but her voice changed.
I still couldn't bring myself to look at her properly. I swear I heard a chuckle that seemed to laced with the words, "you have got to be fucking kidding me."

She seemed calmer though, despite her annoyance, as if coming to terms with the situation.
Something reminiscent of a CEO accepting the fact that they made a bad business deal.

I shrugged. I still didn't know what to say.

That's another lie.
I knew exactly what to say.
I wanted to apologise.
I wanted to tell her that the reason I didn't contact her again was because I had a boyfriend.
I wanted to say that I really did enjoy spending time with her, but it wasn't going to work out even if there were no strings attached.
But my words got caught in my throat, so all I could do was stand there like an idiot.

"Okay." she buttoned up her blazer and spoke very matter-of-factly.
"I can't deal with someone that can't even have a proper conversation. I should've known not to get involved with someone your age. Next time, Please respect yourself and my time."

Ouch.

Vivian left, leaving me standing in silence as I had been doing the entire time.

For fucks sakes.

I took a deep breath and composed myself, dusting and straightening my uniform before going back to work.
I ignored the sting in my eyes and the burning feeling in my throat as tears threatened to well up.

This is a good thing, isn't it?
It's a good thing that she cut me off, seeing as I wasn't able to do it properly. Now we're really over and I can be with Luca and she can be with...whoever she's with.

That's okay. It's okay if she's with other women. I am so not in denial.

Besides, I had to come to terms with how shallow our relationship actually was!
She gave me money. We had sex. Like...Okay? Prostitutes do that.
I mean, I'm not a prostitute, but you get my point.