Forgotten Memories [A Bensler Fanfiction]

Twenty

Olivia didn't get out of bed the next morning. She didn't make Ava her breakfast or lunch, and Elliot was stuck with trying to fix Ava's hair. 

"What's happening with Mama?" Ava asked, as she held her father's hand at the bus stop. A few other kids stood near them, so Elliot kept his voice down.

"Mama is really sad right now, honey. Some scary things are happening, and it's hard for her to process," Elliot frowned as he gave Ava's hand a loving squeeze.

"I heard you fighting last night about a baby... was it about the one in Mama's belly?" Ava whispered, fear filling her tiny body. 

"No, we weren't fighting about that baby. Uh, Mama had another one when she was younger. She was hurt, and a baby ended up in her belly. I'm just trying to convince her to find the baby, because I think she'd feel less scared if she met the baby," Elliot rambled. He watched as the bus pulled up, and Ava tugged on his hand until he looked back down at her.

"Are they older than me?"

"Yes, pumpkin. The baby would be about fourteen now."

"I wanna meet them, Daddy. I hope Mama does too," Ava spoke, as the bus driver honked the horn. Elliot squatted down to Ava's height before placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"I'm gonna try to help her out. Now, go to school and have a great day. I love you, Ava."

"I love you too, Daddy."

///

Elliot went upstairs and cleaned up the apartment while Olivia continued to lie in bed. He did a few loads of laundry before making Olivia a late breakfast. He carried the plate of eggs, toast, and sausage into the bedroom, and frowned when he saw Olivia standing by the window, her eyes focused on the bus stop below. She had watched Ava get on the bus and hadn't been able to move herself since.

"Good morning, baby. I made you some breakfast... I thought you'd be hungry, especially since that baby is a Stabler. We are always hungry," Elliot smiled. Olivia didn't respond, so he walked to her and gently rubbed her back. Olivia jumped from the touch, and she quickly stumbled away from him.

"Elliot," she panted.

"It's okay, Liv. Everything is okay," Elliot spoke. Olivia shook her head as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"He was so rough with me... I can see the bloodstains on my thighs and how every movement hurt so bad... El, he put his hand over my mouth and pushed down so hard that I thought he'd break my jaw. I didn't tell anyone, and when the test came back positive, I just had to leave. I needed to disappear," Olivia whimpered. 

Elliot's eyes went wide with shock. Olivia hasn't regained any of her memories since they found Ava. Yet here she was in her safe place, reliving the moment where her safety and confidence were taken from her.

"It's blurry, but I can kinda remember a baby being passed to me, and it wasn't Ava... but other than that, it's still taking time to come back to me," Olivia whispered. She cradled her belly as Elliot still tried to process what Olivia said to him.

It took a while, but Elliot eventually spoke.

"We can't charge him with what he did to you, but we can find the baby you had. I will help you process this all and eventually accept it. Is that okay?" Elliot asked, his hand reaching out to Olivia. 

"Is it a boy or girl?" Olivia questioned.

"The baby?"

"Yeah, the baby," Olivia breathed. Elliot smiled as he pulled his phone out. He opened up the email and showed Olivia the baby picture that he had received this.

"This is Lanie. She is fourteen, just as you had predicted. Currently, she is living in Denver in the same foster home she was placed in when you gave her up. Um... what else..." Elliot trailed off as he thought of any additional information. Olivia took his phone into her hands and looked at the baby picture.

Olivia knew that this was the baby she had remembered. She had been so red when she was born, and her cry was watery. Olivia held Lanie close for hours after she was born, and she kept telling her baby how much she loved her. How absolutely sorry she was for how things ended up. 

///

When Ava got out of school, her father and mother were standing outside waiting for her. This was the longest Olivia had been out of the house in a while, and the sun felt great on her face.

"Mama!" Ava exclaimed, as she ran past the other students.

"Hey, sweetie. How was school?" Olivia asked with a weak smile. Even if she was out of the apartment, she was still exhausted.

"It was good, but I'm happier to be out now! You are out of the apartment!"

"Yes, Mama is out of the apartment. Now, would you like to get an early dinner with us? We need to discuss something," Elliot spoke.

"The baby?" Ava whispered.

"Yeah, the baby."

They ran a few errands before going to get dinner. Ava sat across from her parents, as Olivia explained what was happening to her little girl.

"So, I was hurt when I lived in California with Grandma and Aunt Jenny. Daddy already told you some things, but we know more information now."

"Like what?"

"You have a big sister named Lanie. She lives in Denver, Colorado. I gave her up after she was born, because her father attacked me. This morning, I remembered some things. I remembered some bad things, but a good thing too. Like the moment Lanie was born, and how I got to hold her for hours," Olivia said with a weak smile.

"Are we going to Colorado to meet her? I bet she'd love me," Ava grinned.

"We can't go right now because of how pregnant Mama is, but maybe after the baby is born. Until then, Mama is just going to call Lanie and get to know her. How does that sound?"

"Daddy, I have two siblings... even if Mama was hurt, this sounds great to me," Ava grinned.