Oumota one-shots and head-cannons!!

Confusion and bloodshed 🌧

This is heavy angst please don't read if your easily triggered by the following! <3

TW: Mentions of self harm, suicide, and anorexia/eating disorder.

!! Italics stand for memories !!
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Kaito is like the sun, a comforting warmth that can "brighten" anyone's day without trying to. Me? I'm probably a dark unsettling cloud, something that would take away the Suns brightness and replace it with darkness. Not that I would mean to do this, but..

Kaito wrapped his strong arm around my shoulders, rubbing my arm up and down. He would tell me.. "Think of how many stars are in the galaxy, each star is something about you that I love. "

I can't begin to imagine how many stars are in the galaxy, probably millions. But I can't think of even 5 things about me that anyone would like. I lie way to much, I'm selfish, manipulative, villainous, cunning, boring. These are all things that would make people want to stay far away from me. Traits that would make people say, "I bet he's gonna grow old and die alone. Who would want to be with someone like him? ". However.. The words Kaito uses to describe me would be, Intelligent, humorous, entertaining. It's confusing to me why he thinks this. I don't understand. I don't understand why he treats me so well?

My eyes slowly flutter open, I'm wrapped in a warm embrace, Kaitos arms wrapped around my body like a huge protective blanket. I snuggle into his chest and he starts stroking my hair. " Morning kichi~" I've always loved his morning voice, it makes me feel like I'm melting. "Morning~" I reply, he gently cups my face and pulls me in for a kiss.

He's always been so protective towards me. Not the annoying type of protective, well sometimes. When I'm around him I feel the most safe and secure I've ever felt. He's so perfect. I love him so much. But, why does he love me? He's told me countless times. I ask all the time, however, I can't help but feel that with me asking over and over "why do you love me Kaito?" He will start feeling like he's not doing enough for me. He is doing enough, he's always done enough, he does more than enough. The only reason I keep asking this question is because I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I always ruin everything. These memories. These happy memories. I always somehow screw it up.

Kaito wrapped his strong arm around my shoulders, rubbing my arm up and down. He would tell me.. "Think of how many stars are in the galaxy, each star is something about you that I love."

We cuddle for a while, and he keeps telling me how much he loves me, I return the feelings each time. He keeps rubbing up and down my arm. Until.. His hand slips and reaches my lower arm. I flinch away from his comforting touch. "What happened? I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? " his voice was worried and a bit shaky. "It's nothing, just.. Uhm.. " I failed to come up with an explanation and stumble over my words. Kaito knows what's going on. And I know he does. He quickly yet gently grabs my hand and pulls up my sleeve. Tears fill his eyes. Scars. Scars cover my arm. Old healed scars, brown, tan, and pink. New ones. Magenta and dark pink. I hold back my tears. I don't want to upset him more than he already is. His breath hitches and he pulls up my other sleeve. More scars, and a word carved into the side. Selfish. He pulls me into a hug and starts sobbing. I wrap my arms around him. This is my fault. I try to keep quiet, I try not to cry. "Why.. Why would y-you do this?" That does it. I start crying into his shoulder.

There's one example of me screwing up a perfect moment. I had to ruin it with my own bad habits. Kaito dosnt deserve me. He deserves so much better.

My eyes slowly flutter open, I'm wrapped in a warm embrace, Kaitos arms wrapped around my body like a huge protective blanket. I snuggle into his chest and he starts stroking my hair. " Morning kichi~" I've always loved his morning voice, it makes me feel like I'm melting. "Morning~" I reply, he gently cups my face and pulls me in for a kiss.

We both get up and kaito goes to the kitchen to make breakfast. I walk up behind him while he's cooking and wrap my arms around his waist. I can tell that he's smiling and I smile to. He finishes making breakfast in a few minutes, I don't help because I can't cook for shit. We both sit down on the couch. By the time Kaito has finished around half of his breakfast I've only had 3 bites. "Are you okay Kokichi?" He asks as he pauses the tv show we have on. "Yeah.. I'm just not that hungry right now. Hehe.. " I attempted to laugh it off. Kaito nods and wraps his arm around my waist. I hadn't thought much of it at the moment but now it seems like he was checking something. By the time dinner comes around I tell him that I'm not hungry. He nods and looks down a bit. "I need to use the bathroom but I'll be back to sit with you. " I say. He simply nods again and I walk off. My heart churns as I walk away, I feel so guilty for not eating, so selfish. I come back from the bathroom but stop at the corner. I can hear kaito crying his eyes out. At that point I know that he can tell I've been avoiding eating.

I feel so selfish, so worthless. I just keep bringing Kaito down and he dosnt deserve this. I'm so sorry kaito.

The memories keep flashing through my head. I've been crying for a while now. I made sure to write him a note. I told him that it's not his fault, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I love him, I love him, I love him, ilovehimilovehimilovehimilovehimilovehim. I put all of my feelings into that letter. I really hope once I'm gone, he'll be able to find someone better than me. I said that in the note to.

I look down from the ledge I'm standing on, I can barely see due to the tears blurring my vision. Im going to jump off the bridge. I wonder one last time. Why would Kaito love someone like me? "I love you Kaito." I whisper through my sobs as I hesitantly step off of the bridge. "KOKICHI!!!! "

Kaitos POV:

no no no no no no no no no. Please please let me get there on time.. I stuff the letter in my pocket and run outside as quick as I can. I'm assuming he's at the bridge near our house. I get into my car and start speeding to the bridge. There's barley anyone out because it's so early in the morning, and a Sunday. I get to the bridge and see kokichi standing at the top. Not even a second passes before he falls. I scream his name and start running. I don't know how to swim that well but at the moment I really don't care. I dive into the lake and grab his body, somehow pulling him to the surface. He's all bloody from the impact. I attempt CPR but it's no use. He's already dead. I sob and pull out the small box from my pocket, opening it to reveal a proposal ring. "I love you Kokichi.. "

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So did you expect a happy ending? I'll probably make an alternative ending in another chapter if you want to see that.
Have a good day/night!! <3

(1328 words including authors note)