Boo'd Up (Kendrick Lamar love story)

I Already Know

It's been several days since my birthday and I can't lie, I'm growing distant from Kendrick.

I can't look at him the same without picturing him and Vanessa together. It truly bothers me. Usually I could confront him but this is truly so hard because I'm scared on how he'll respond. I hate this but I know the longer I wait to say something, the worse it'll be.

I can tell he feels it. The night of my party, when we came home, I was still very much tipsy and happy. I bet it was entertaining to Kendrick, seeing me all over the place. I don't remember too much but I do remember us being in the shower, making out and feeling up on each other.

I didn't care then but I care now. It must've been night and day for him the next morning. I wasn't as 'welcoming' when we woke up. It just hit me hard and I wasn't in the mood. I feel bad but then I don't. He went to go get Mila from my parents' place but I stayed behind. He didn't understand why because I was always so eager when it came to Mila but I needed time to myself.

When he left, all emotions started to flow out of me. Mentally and emotionally, I was just done. I cried and cried hard. This had been the longest summer ever dealing with Jamal and his crazy ass but I call myself trying to be there for Kendrick but he wasn't there for me and his daughter. Instead, he cheats on me.

I'm trying to be understanding, I really am because he's grieving but fuck, this hurts! I feel betrayed. I can't ignore this feeling even if I tried.

Once my breakdown was more stable, I took a long shower.

Kendrick came back with Mila and he didn't notice a thing, other than the fact I was growing more stand-offish with him. I knew it was driving him crazy but he didn't say anything so I didn't say anything.

And that's how it's been the last 3 days.

Kendrick is trying to make things better by doing sweet gestures like getting me lunch when I was working, getting me flowers, or taking me to the movies but it doesn't make anything better. I haven't even driven my new car he's gotten me nor am I driving his Benz. I've been taking an Uber.

He didn't know until one day, he brought me lunch and noticed neither car was in the parking lot. He asked me why I wasn't driving. I told him I wasn't ready yet.

Finally, last night he asked what was up. But I wasn't brave enough to tell him. That got to him when I didn't respond. I completely ignored him and went to sleep.

He didn't stop me so...

Today, not a word came from either of us.

The only noise there was, was coming from the TV and Mila, who is surprisingly, very vocal today. Tasha came over because as content for my YouTube channel, she's gonna be my guest. Just gossiping, me doing her makeup and hair, and the besties we are. While we filmed, Kendrick watched Mila.

After we were done, Tasha was a brand new woman.

"Kay, I can't stop touching my hair. I need you to silk press my hair more often," she said, sitting down next to me on the couch after taking selfies in our bathroom.

"I'm surprise you got hair after seeing you wearing 50 other wigs," Kendrick chuckled.

"At least I got hair. My wigs ain't do nothing to you, mind ya business," Tasha shot back.

I smiled and shook my head. I was distracted seeing Mila and Kendrick playing on the floor. Tasha's phone started ringing so she answered.

"Hey baby," she greeted, happily.

"Baby?," Kendrick and I said in unison.

"Damn, nosey asses," she exclaimed, getting up and stepping out onto the balcony to finish her call.