Toxic and Mine

Start Me Up

If you start me up, I'll never stop.

9/20

"It's that Manon bitch." Sharon says before stuffing a chip in her mouth.

"Stasi you ain't never cry over a nigga until you became friends with her. She's all boy crazy and it's rubbing off on you."

"Yes I agree." Megan says. "I've never known you to doubt yourself this hard before. So what if he wanted that white bitch, that ain't your business the fuck! You don't love him, you should've  left that man alone! You like the attention Nastasia don't deny it. You want to be with him but you're too goddamn stubborn and so now look at you looking like a whiny bitch."

"Ok i ain't saying all that but I don't agreee. You could have put it more nicely btich!" Sharon yells.

"No I needed to hear it for real because she's right. I don't know what's going on with me." I tell them.

"Call us please!! We could have been helped you out Stasi! Just because you're in a different country doesn't mean we can't be there for you."

"Sasha told us you left your medication Nastasia. I know you don't like taking it but you need it."

"It makes me feel like I'm insane. Having to take medicine because I'm mentally unstable is so shameful."

"You're not mentally unstable and you know it. You don't think you look insane in public fighting with him? You clearly need a straight forward mind set dealing with someone like him." Sharon says,

"You're Right. You are so wait this is..." I laugh slapping my hand over my head.
"My life is so chaotic right now." I look down feeling so defeated.

"We know but no matter what just come to us. I wish I could come down there with you because you're surrounded by weird people."

"And you're becoming weird. It's mission 'Make Nastasia Great Again'

"Fuck YALL!" They giggle both coming to give me a hug.

"Let's take a picture." Sharon suggest and I decline not looking the best.

" you look good shut up let me have your phone." She takes it directing us in how we should pose.

"Ok 1..2...3." We take a couple pics and she posts them on my story.

"See you look so pretty, you're one of the most natural beautiful girls I know."

"Yea and you just look like the crypt keeper without make up." I joke causing her to push me. I missed them and this. We were all sitting in my living room eating chips and drinking wine. This is my life, I controlled what friends I had, who I talked to and who was in my house.

"Nastasia let me do your makeup." Sharon says. She's a well known hair stylist here and she's really good at makeup. Every chance she get, she's asking to beat my face. I told her to let me take a shower first and then she could.

It feels surreal being here, knowing that I'm forced to go back there just makes being here harder for me. I thought I was so lucky to be able to go to Italy but I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy.

Once I get out the shower I put on a white beater that stopped at my belly button and grey spandex. After blow drying my wet hair I walk out to see the girls putting on something to watch.

"Look it's your favorite movie." Megan says, she put on Casino.
****
"I could never understand why the fuck he dealt with her crazy ass for so long." I mumble out as Sharon apply lipliner on me.

"He only cared about beauty, men are so one dimensional they only look on the outside. She looked good on him, she was a good trophy wife. And plus he was just dumb as hell." Sharon tells me while focusing on hard on placing lipstick on me.