[M] Say My Name [TF2 BL]

update 3/26/24

hey guys, Benji here. i've had way too much going on and the delay for the rest of the story is my fault. i've been getting busy/off track with writing original stories and getting way too balls deep in fnf projects/drama that i shouldn't be. if you wanna know the future of this story, scroll to the bottom and read the underlined paragraph there. though i suggest you read the whole thing through as im kinda in the wrong for a few things here.

i was 15, going onto 16 years old when i started this fic. yeah, pretty cheap coming from me to make an adult fanfic lmao. coming out of quarantine in mid-2022, i had no friends and was in a new town due to harassment from an ex-partner. i felt empty and was still rolling with the punches of growing up, physically and mentally, and unfortunately, my parents were emotionally absent during this time. i started this fic before the move but wrote it more and more while i was slowly getting adapted to this unfamiliar small town. i was being exposed to rather nsfw sub-communities on Discord, which caused me to act up and whatever. i was groomed in my earlier years, and this was not any healthier material for me to be consuming later on as my brain was still growing and i was still trying to figure out who i was. i originally wrote this fic as i was consuming an unreal amount of tf2 media, and one day i came across the shipping part of the community. i fell in love with the idea of the mercs falling in love in a strangle place and taking down tyrants to live in a happily ever after as a big family. but it was unorganized and all over the place, i focused on shipping for 5 chapters straight. when i got my PC around xmas 2021, i was obsessed with finally being able to draw on a computer. my sleep schedule was already horrible and art has been my emotional punching bag since i could write.

looking back on it, i wish i put it down and just finished this story so i could've revised it and moved it to ao3. i wish i didn't put myself balls deep into working on fnf related shit. i even got onto a tf2 mod but got kicked out because my art style wasn't adapting to the art style already in the mod, which put me further back in a depressed, unwanted, demotivated state. it sucked, ididnt want to do anything for months and ireally should have just picked this up again. my advice for joining fnf mods if you really wanna get into that, join entry/demo level mods or join mods that friends are making before trying to get in the big leagues.

currently, im sandwiched with uni work and finding a job and looking for a career choice once im finished with college (i got covid during the first week which sucked ;~;), as well as trying to figure out where me and my partner are moving. it's gonna take a while to get a final chapter here, and i do apologize for the wait.

.............

...awkward.

NOW FOR THE FUTURE OF THE FIC  :D

i will be republishing this on ao3 due to the more various age demographic of users on there (because the fact that wattpad has a mobile app and ao3 doesn't, kids are more likely to read naughty stuff bc their parents dont wanna raise them so theyre handed devices. :/ ); when i completely push out the rest of the chapters. i cannot control who reads my work but i can do something about putting it in a place where that traffic is limited, meaning that eventually i will be taking this one down. i cannot thank yall enough for supporting my work by favoriting and saving it to you're reading lists. thank you all so much for the compassion and patience.

-benji :]

sidenote; if you want my discord server please dm me for a link. im hyperactive on discord. i may be addicted iunno