Chapter 14

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Xaniban

Things had not gone as planned.

I had expected I might die but still lived.

I had believed I would return to my homecloud with my enemy's head, but how could one detach the head of a creature who possessed no neck and shoulders? True, there had been many tentacles to choose from, but all had been too slimy to carry without dropping during the long flight home.

I had hoped I would return before dark, but my injuries and those of my brethren had required longer to heal to make the journey home.

I had been sure that if I arrived after my anima's waking, I would have her in my arms upon landing in the courtyard, but instead had been greeted only by Perixal and his guards.

I had concluded that she was too angry at me even for a kiss, but when I entered the former harem turned her workplace, I did not see anger on her face.

As she turned in her seat upon my arrival, her eyes took my freshly healed body in. Her gaze lingered on my face for several more seconds. Then she reached for me and said, voice unsteady: "Come here, Xan!"

I took a quick look at her and then at her surroundings. She appeared unarmed, and I could not detect any traps she might have laid for me as punishment. Given how the room was filled with her intoxicating scent, she had spent hours in here, just like Samuin had informed me, but only to work on more of her healing cream. The sturdy desk was stocked with new jars filled with the same sticky substance I had been applying to her cuts and burns for days.

Things had not gone as planned, but I could not be happier about certain developments.

I flew to my little blessing, swept her off her seat, wrapped my tail along her leg, and took her mouth with the passion of a gargoyle starved.

Something wet touched my cheek. "Anima?" I pulled away enough to look at her face. "You... cry?"

"Yes, I cry, you jerk!" She half sobbed, half laughed. "You're alive!"

"Mhm..." I pulled her tighter against me. "Very much so, my happy-teary-eyed little human. Alive and victorious."

"We won?" Why did she sound so surprised? "Based on my crappy strategy?"

My tail left her leg to give her derriere a light slap. "Not crappy, little blessing: flawless."

She shook her head, tears still rolling down her cheeks but without any sobbing. She took a deep breath in. "How many died?"

I shrugged. "Many." When fresh tears welled in her eyes and she trembled in my arms, I quickly added, "They had an honorable death in a battle of their own choice. It was glorious, anima."

"Oh, God!" A sob escaped her.

Was this her punishment for me, to be subjected to the tail-wrenching sight of sadness on her enchanting face?

I cupped her face, brushing some tears with my knuckles. "Deidre and Alyson did not depart for the great beyond. Prince Karim lives as well; he sustained some injuries but not fatal ones. He fought beside me, just like Ris."

"Ris?" She sounded so afraid to even ask.

"Tore a wing but will heal. No flying on his own for a couple of weeks, however. Something his anima approves of."

She sniffled. "Why?"

I kissed the frown off her forehead then proceeded to claim those tempting lips of hers. Once I was satisfied she was calmer, I explained. "Deidre now has an excuse not to come to the feast in two days. The elves from the hunting reserve agreed to host the victory celebration because of the big open space available, and the flight there is too long for Ris to be carried."

A small smile finally appeared on her face. "Deidre does hate celebrations."

Truly so. The half-elf had sulked throughout her own mating feast, snorting and huffing and cursing at everyone's wishes. No claiming advice for her and my greatest warrior's bedchamber could cheer her up.

"Ris, too, approves of the many days he will spend having his mate all to himself," I continued in an attempt to cheer my anima up. In general, she was as easy to get smiley as she was to get flushed and wet. "Also, another impressive scar for your honorable champion, my Queen. Since in addition to taking a long time to heal, wing injuries tend to scar."

"Sounds great," she muttered, averting her gaze. The corners of her lips turned downward again.

Not good. I wanted to demand to know why she was sad like this, instead of euphoric or angry, but my anima asked a question first.

"What about the humans? My community? The other one? The rescued people?... You did rescue the aliens' prisoners, did you not, animar?"

"Of course, little human. Your community and those other humans Alyson had found took the survivors with them. The elves did not shoot any humans." I kissed the tip of her nose. "You should be proud. This victory was your doing as much as mine and the warriors'."

And just like that, she was crying again.

What had I done! "Anima, why the tears?"

"You have to ask?" She shook her head and tried to push me away, but I wrapped my tail around her waist and kept her in my embrace. "Xan, I caused all these deaths!... A battle like no other, all because I thought I knew what I was doing!... Because I believed I was helping to save humankind!"

It was my turn to frown in confusion. "You are doing exactly that, little blessing." I caressed her lower back, right where the upper and lower piece of her queenly robe left her soft skin exposed to my touch. The direct skin-to-skin contact always soothed my very soul, and it usually pleased my mate a lot. But not today.

"I had no idea what a war on such a massive scale–what any war was like, Xan!" She rested her forehead on my chest with a shaky exhale. "And this is just the beginning! What remains of the aliens will fight back, thousands will die when they do! We were all better off hiding, us among the clouds and the elves in their depressing underground world, and assisting the humans we could find. Instead, we risked everything we have..."

"Anima, where is this coming from?" I petted her derriere with the tip of my tail. "We won this great victory, which I will order depicted on the remaining bare wall in the war room, and now you express doubt in our cause?"

She lifted her head to meet my gaze. "The doubt has always been there, Xan. I simply stopped voicing it because I was getting nowhere with you: you are too confident and self-assured to ever accept failure as a possibility."

I shook my head. I had never been overconfident. Just realistic. "You were doubtful, yet you persevered because you are a compassionate little human. You made me proud and inspired not just me but also our subjects and other like-minded creatures." I cupped her face before underscoring, "We won today. There is no place for doubts anymore, little blessing."

She hid her face from me against my chest right before a shudder went through her body in my arms and tail. "I didn't persevere," she said softly. Her next words were nearly a whisper. "I ate the strawberries on purpose."

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