Saint Valentine

16

My heart pounds on my chest, my body still trembling. I've been shaking since I've been in here — alone in the cold, supposedly safe from the violence yet right beneath it. I can hear everything — the yelling, the gunshots, the glass shattering. It's raining bullets. I've lost count of how many I've heard. I don't even know how long it's been. It feels like forever. It's just gunshot after gunshot. I don't know who's dead and who's alive. I don't know what's going on.

I stare at the firearm beside me, resting on the cold concrete. I don't want to use it. I've never shot someone before. I've never even aimed at anything besides a target. I never needed to. I was kept hidden from this side of the family. I always knew it was there, but it wasn't even on my radar. I'm not a fighter. I don't even want to see the violence. I don't want to see people get hurt.

But now I don't have a choice. They've found us — the Sokolov family. They're here, and they're angry. They didn't come to talk. They came to kill. And I'm first on their list. If anyone gets in here, I'm dead. I don't know how my people have already died. I don't know if Valentino's dead. I can't even think about it, but I can't stop, either. I'm scared — for me, for him, and for everyone else here. I don't want to die. I don't him to die. I don't want anyone to die.

"Fuck," I run my hand over my face. I need this to be over. I swear, my heart is about to burst out of my chest. I can't handle it. I can't take it. I pull my knees up to my chest. I don't like this feeling at all. I'm shivering, but I'm sweating. I'm nervous and scared. I need Valentino to come get me. I'm not stupid enough to go out there myself, but I can't stay in here. I need to know what's happening. I need to know who's hurt and who's survived. I need to help out. I need to do anything but sit here stressing. Maybe I should go. I can take the car and get the hell out of here. But what about Valentino? What if he's hurt? What if this is the only other way out and if I take it, Valentino will be stranded here, just waiting to be shot to his death?

Jesus Christ. I don't want to think about it. I can't. It's too much.

He needs to come back. He needs to come to get me. He'll be here any minute. He has to be.

Come on, Valentino. I need you back. I need you to come back. You need to come get me. Please.

I pick the gun up off the floor. It's an unfamiliar feeling. It's been too long since I've held one. I'll have to start practising again. I can't remain defenceless. I'm stuck down here.

I instinctively tighten my grip on the weapon when I hear a thump outside the door. My body tenses. I climb to my feet. The keypad starts to beep, but the entry is rejected. Shit, shit, shit. Someone's trying to get in. The person knocks on the door.

"Bianca?!" they call. "It's Seth. Sainte told me to come get you."

No. Don't listen to him. Valentino said not to open the door for anyone but him. He said he'd come back for me. He's bailed on me before, but not anymore. He wouldn't do that. He's coming back for me. He himself, not anyone else.

"It's alright, it's safe now. You can come out," Seth tries.

Should I? It's Seth. I know him. He's on our side. He wouldn't betray us. But I don't know for sure that it is him. It's a man's voice, but it's too muffled to make out anything distinctive. It could be anyone.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not even going to respond. I can't confirm that I'm in here. He might not know for sure.

"Are you alright?" he calls. "You don't have to come out, just let me know you haven't been hurt."

No. Don't say anything.

"If you don't answer me, I'm going to override the security code and come in. I have to know you're okay."