"I know you want to help him but you shouldn't."
I explain some of what had happened between me and Yoongi and Yoongi just nods in agreement. Hoseok looked baffled and slightly mad, his eyebrows furrowing when he looks at me "so your telling me that you and Yoongi had a plan of lying about eating?" Me and Yoongi nod together and Hoseok shakes his head, "why? Why would you do something like that?" I didn't know how to explain myself fumbling, "I I don't know Hoseok."
"So you get out of the hospital, knowing you need to make healthy decisions if you want to live. You find my boyfriend in his studio smoking and throwing up and instead of telling him to stop you encourage it? You encourage it so you can also do it? You use his problem as blackmail?"
I can't speak the words taken from my mouth, I'd messed up beyond belief. "Hob-" "no no Yoongi! I'm furious! You were helping him kill himself Jin! You became Namjoon."
Oh my god. I'd become my abuser. Oh my god I was killing Yoongi for self gain. All the nights I'd watch him throw up, when he'd ask for me to hold his hand because he couldn't hold himself up. The nights I'd watch him stumble over nothing and cover for him. When he'd throw up randomly during his writing. When he'd come crying because the pain in his stomach had grown and he could barely face the hunger. I encouraged him. I told him it was going to be okay. I told him the hunger fades. I persuaded him to put his fingers down his throat. I told him the calories. I told him when he'd gain anything. I'm killing him. I'm Namjoon.
I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon. I'd become Namjoon.
I feel sick as I look back at Yoongi whose eyes are trained on the ground. I leave the living room my breathing becoming unstable. When my back hits the wall I slide down, tears coming out faster then I can push them back. "Jin?" Jimin comes out of the kitchen and I shake my head, "d-don't comfort m-me." "What happened?" I get back up running to the closest room I can get my hands on shutting myself inside. I sob out into the cold room, "what have I done! What have I done!" My hands shake and I see an empty trashcan nearby, before I can even bend down I throw up. Anything I could have eaten spilling into the plastic sack.
"Hyung is it true?" The throw up comes out again just hearing Taehyungs concerned voice. My hands continue to shake holding tighter onto the trashcan lip. "What's going on?" I throw up again, sobs escaping afterwards dizziness filling my head. The anxiety was dragging me under. My world was fading. What did I do? Why did I hurt him?
"We should've kept him in the hospital, he did this because of Namjoon I can tell. God how did this happen?" "I don't know he's gotta open the door." "Jin cmon open the door!"
I fall back onto the ground my vision blurring further before the world goes black.
🍓🍓🍓
HELLO!!!
Oh boy a lot has happened.
You may be wondering, 'wow this seems sudden.' And you would be right! It is sudden but this is a book about recovery so stuff like this doesn't last as long.
Also date clarification.
It is July 25th 2017
A month after the last chapter.
I love you all, bye!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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This Is Love
Fanfiction"Don't leave me, I love you." Part 2 to This Isn't Love Jins life had been a happy one, filled with compassion and freedom. That was until he meant Kim Namjoon his lover and abuser, who had landed him in the hospital multiple times. After a suicide...
