lights out › charles leclerc.

21 | austria

I need a little moment to process everything that happened, I have a secret boyfriend now. But not any secret boyfriend, a freaking F1 driver.

I instantly thought about Liv, and how she would rise through the roof if I told her. She knows me too well, and I had been avoiding her calls just because I know that she will end up catching up with my lies. I sigh, as I roll on my hotel bed as if I am a teenage girl in some sort of chick flick, but I can't help it. My stomach is spinning around my abdomen, and there's no way or position in which the organ manages to calm down.

I try to shake my mind and open the curtains that separate me from the big window of my room, as I stare in awe. The beautiful town of Spielberg smiles at me, having kindness for my head-over-heels heart. The trees are clouding the whole background, moving side to side, dancing to the rhythm of the wind.  Without noticing it, I mimic their movement, letting myself go. I find a little bird on my balcony, sitting quietly and admiring the same landscape.

—Hey little guy—. I say as I wave. The bird flies away, and I feel a deep warmth. I missed nature.

I was completely tired and feeling a wave of fear, not going to lie, I've been having a terrifying recurring nightmare about the accident that happened in Silverstone.

The day went by pretty fast, having to work at the medical center. Today was capacitation day for the staff, and we also had several conferences of new updates. I had lunch with my team, and after a few conversation topics, the fact that the accident was really shocking came up. I told them about my reoccurring dreams, and they assured me that it was somewhat normal to think and dream about that, especially when it was so recent.

I returned to the hotel at night, and I was greeted by some amicable faces. Lando, Pierre, and George accompanied me to eat something in the hotel's cafeteria, consisting of two croissants and some tea.  We chatted and had some good laughs before heading to sleep, we all were absolutely demolished.

Thursday came along fairly quickly, I spent the morning walking the track and ran into Charles. He offered to stay with me until I finished up my track notes, and he was craving for a distraction, so I let him stay after the press conference with me. We hung out for the rest of the day, and later on, he had to go back to Ferrari's Motorhome for some social media content and I went back to the hotel and study my notes till I passed out.

I woke up on Friday and directed myself to the coffee machine they place in the hotel room. My hands were almost trembling from exhaustion, and I wanted to end the caffeine sobriety. I made myself a big cup of coffee, and of course, I gulped it down in minutes. My routine was a bit more extensive, trying to arrange my face in order to seem awake and not like I'd been punched in the face repeatedly. I looked at myself and reassured myself that I was going to be able to rest in two weeks, and I was eager for that. Right now, Max was the leader of the championship, but Charles was right behind his back. I firmly believed that he could win this year, he had a competitive car but he was way too distracted by focusing only on his mistakes and lacks as a driver.

I headed to the lobby, where a car was supposedly waiting for me, but it was nowhere to be seen. I approached the lady in reception, hoping for an answer.

—Good morning ma'am, I was wondering if there was a car sent to take me to the circuit. My name's Camila Luna—. I asked, she twitched her face and shook it.

—I'm afraid not, Mrs. Luna—. She smiled apologetically, and I nodded.

I walked angrily towards the doors, cause I wanted to see if I could fetch an Uber. I was wondering, why it happens that when we are busier and in a rush, something has to go wrong. As I thought that, my Uber ride canceled my trip.