Carl grimes x male reader season two

Season 2 episode 12; better angels

(He's so bbg)

I didn't sleep nor eat, I wasn't going to, I wanted to be with the ones I've lost. I didn't understand why the universe took away everyone I ever cared for. I had so much now there's only few; Carl, Glenn, Daryl, Maggie, Tdog, and Carol. I didn't want to lose them too, I felt like a curse.

We all stood around the graves, I wasn't ready for another one to be gone so quickly. I couldn't process how he would be gone forever. Rick was talking, I didn't want to listen. I didn't need to hear it but Andrea did. Earlier today Andrea, Tdog, Shane, and Daryl went to make sure the fences were sturdy. I wiped my face from the tears 'I'm not gonna let you down Dale, I'll be better than those monsters. I won't let myself become one.' My face contorted to anger 'I promise I'll never be one of those monsters. I'll keep Carl alive. I'll do things the right way.'

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Intro here
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The others were pulling stuff around, we're moving into the house. I knew we didn't have much longer until we move, we never do. I was out killing walkers silently, I didn't want to attract more nor did I want more killing off my friends.
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Once I got back I sat at Dales grave, not on top but beside it. I closed my eyes tightly, I wanted him to still be alive. I wanted him here with me, I needed him. He reminded me of my grandpa, one of the only people who were nice to me before the shit virus. Maggie came over "hey.. have you ever learned how to ride a horse?" She asked I shook my head in response "can I teach you?" He tilted her head slightly I nod. I got on top of one of the horses, a random one. Maggie looked at me confused "weird, he usually would buck me and Beth right off" she laughed slightly "maybe he'll do it when he knows I think he trusts me" I joke "maybe, only one way to find out."
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Maggie continued to teach me how to ride the horse, I chose to call it Cole, the first name the popped into my mind. When it jumped I I smiled but accidentally kicked it when we landed "sorry sorry sorry! I didn't mean to" I apologized, the horse looked back at me it looked almost confused "wait, did you even feel that?" It shook its head "damn.. you probably think I'm weird huh?" The horse neighed in response 'I feel like a horse girl' I joked to myself "y/n! Focus!" Maggie shouted "right, sorry!" I responded as me and Cole continued to follow Maggie's lead. Maggie and her horse started doing a zigzag motion, cole followed their lead but I wasn't ready, I fell off causing Maggie to laugh. The horse came back almost instantly "I guess you gotta start being prepared core stuff like this" she smiled "I guess so" I shrugged as I got up and got back on top of Cole who got down "does he normally do that?" I asked getting onto the saddle "yeah, he used to crouching down when I was little. Cole later then seemingly hated me and no one understood why." She shrugged "who used to ride him before you?" I asked "my mom" she replied plainly "maybe because you look like your mom?" I said unsure "alright enough of that, let's get back to lessons" Cole groan-ished as we started off again.
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After lessons I took a nap by Dale's grave. When I opened my eyes I saw Carl, I got scared and yelled/ screamed. Carl smiled but his face went back to a sad face "I'm sorry." He sat on his knees "what for?" I asked "I killed Dale." He looked at Dale's grave "no you didn't, a walker got to him. It-" Carl cut me off "it was my fault. Remember that walker? The one from the woods? The one I ran from?" He asked, I nodded "I was gonna kill it I really was but.. I ran instead. I led it back." He swallowed "Carl.. it was there too, I could've killed it but I didn't. The walker was stuck, it didn't follow you. The walker walked aimlessly until it heard the cow, it walked and ate the cow before Dale came over then the walker got to Dale. It wasn't your fault." I got up and held my hand out to him "okay?" He looked up "okay.." he took my hand and I helped him up. We both walked to the house hand in hand.
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I found my stuff already inside, on the kitchen table "I read your journal." My attention was instantly directed to Andrea "why." I glared at her "I needed to know what's been going on-" I cut her off "so? You talk to me. You don't go through anyone's journal without their permission. That's some toxic mother move Andrea." I took the journal out of her hands "y/n just wait and let me explain-" "what is there to explain? You invaded my personal shit." I gestured to my journal "but-" Daryl walked in "but nothing." Andrea turned to Daryl "this doesn't concern you." She glared at him "oh yes the hell it does!-" Daryl shouted but Hershel came in "what's going on?" He asked "nothing." Daryl glared at Andrea as I put my journal back into my bag. I grabbed my bag and walked into the living room with Daryl "tell me if she ever goes through your stuff again" he lightly hit my head before leaving I smiled.
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They kept talking about how Randall escaped, Shane was gone, you can never trust Shane and his lies. We kept searching the cell "Rick! Rick!" We turn out heads to see Shane coming over "what happened?" Lori shouted "he's armed!" shane replied "he's got my gun!" He shouts "are you okay?" Carl asked "I'm fine, little bastard just snuck up on me. Clocked me in the face" Shane said as he continued his way over. I sighed "all right, Hershel, Tdog, get everybody back inside the house. Glenn, Daryl coke with us." Rick ordered "stay safe!" I shouted as Tdog grabbed my arm and lightly rugged on me "will do" Glenn replied "T I'm gonna need that gun." Shane said "just let him go. That was the plan wasn't it?" Carol asked "the plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not in our front step with a gun." Rick replied "don't go out there. Y'all know what can happen." Carol said "they know what their doing, I trust Glenn Daryl and Rick. Shane not so much but eh" I said to Carol "get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!" Rick ordered. The others kept mumbling or talking as we started heading towards the house.
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Nighttime approached and they weren't back. I was worried Shane had killed everyone and ran, who knows what Shane's capable of when alone with someone? Dale told me he was aiming towards Rick once but stopped, he was going insane. I sharpened my arrows and put the shavings in the trash can, cause I'm polite and it's what a good boy would do. Carl keep looking out, everyone was either asleep or just doing their own thing. Winter was approaching I'd hope it would be a non snow one, we don't know what walkers are fully capable of and running in snow is hard. Plus the cold? Brrr. Can't forget the crops, they can't grow without a humid or warm environment, the clouds would probably block the sun too.
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I looked out to the stables "what's wrong?" Maggie asked "I'm worried, with no one keeping a lookout for walkers. What if one of those monsters get to Cole and the others?" I replied. Maggie put her arm in my shoulder, I look over "their gonna be fine, they always are" she nods slightly as I turn back to the window "I hope so."
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I realized Carl was gone, he slipped away. I looked around the house I ran upstairs went back downstairs and searched again "guys?" I called out "where's Carl?" I asked "he's right-" a faint gunshot. I ran outside two shadow figures, one short one tall "Guys! TURN AROUND!" I scream as I see the hoard hurling towards them "WALKERS!" I voice rang higher almost a scream.

They couldn't hear me...
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End of episode