Jegulus (Taylor's Version)

I Almost Do - James

James' POV:

My call went to voicemail. And after all the times it went to voicemail, today was the day I decided to leave a message. And boy was it a long one. I knew I'd regret it in the morning but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"I bet this time of night you're still up, and I bet you're tired from a long, hard week being a fucking Death Eater. I bet you're sitting in your room at the window, staring out at the garden. I bet you still wonder about me. And I just wanna tell you it's taken everything in me not to call you. I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do.

"I bet you think I either moved on or hate you because every time I see you, I walk right by. I bet it never even occurred to you that I can't say, 'Hello,' to you, and risk another goodbye. I wish I could tell you, it takes everything in me not to talk to you. I wish I could kiss you and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do.

"We made quite the mess, Reggie. And you probably think it's better off this way. But I confess, in my dreams you still touch my face and ask me if I wanna try again with you, and I almost do.

"I just need to tell you, it takes everything in me to live without you. And I wish I could try to get you back. Every time I don't, I almost do.

"Yeah, I like to imagine that this time of night you're still up, looking out at the garden and I hope that sometimes you wonder about me."

I hung up and dropped my head into my hands, just sobbing. I can't believe I did that.