Roommates ~ A Larvis Fanfic

Chapter 3 ~ Confession

*warnings: mentions of suicide attempt*

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Larry was drifting off to sleep when Travis said something and Larry sat up.

"I'm sorry, Larry."

"What?" Larry said. Travis jumped, he thought Larry had been asleep. He took a deep breath. Like it or not, he was doing this now.

"I'm sorry. For being such a prick. I know that I'm an asshole and, well, there's no excuse for that behavior, so I'm sorry. I just- well, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry. You know, I don't really hate you or your friends. I know it doesn't change anything, and I'm not gonna change, but I am sorry, because you don't deserve that."

"I don't know what to say..." Larry breathed out.

"You don't have to say anything. It's not like it changes anything." Travis said. "You don't have to forgive me. I just- I just don't know how many chances I'll get like this." Larry looked at Travis in the dark room, the only light coming from the outside lights past the window. Travis was sitting on his bed, hugging his legs and burying his face in his knees.

Larry quietly got out of bed and sat next to Travis, who quickly looked up at him before burying his face in his knees once again. 

"I forgive you." Larry said, placing his hand atop Travis'. "Maybe not totally, but it's a start."

"Don't." Travis said, staring at Larry's hand but making no moves to shake him off. Larry blinked in confusion. 

"What?" he said, pulling his hand away, thinking that's what he meant, which, fair enough. Travis grabbed his hand and held it though. 

"Don't forgive me. I've been a complete disaster of a person. You don't have to pretend to forgive me just to be nice." Even in the dark room, Larry could see the blush across his bruised face. 

"I'm not. If you haven't noticed, I'm not always the nicest person myself." Larry chuckled. "You're being sincere, so, I forgive you. What I don't understand is why you think that it changes nothing." Larry said. Travis was staring at their connected hands.

"Why would it change anything? An apology doesn't erase the horrible things that I've done and said." Travis used his free hand to wipe a tear from his face. He wasn't supposed to cry. 

"I didn't realize you knew it was horrible. I thought you really believed that stuff." Larry was looking at their hands as well.

"Even if I did, its still horrible. But no, I don't. Those are not my words that escape my mouth." Travis sighed, putting his head to his knees again, and held Larry's hand tighter, which Larry didn't mind. 

"So whose words are those? Your father's?" Larry asked. Travis quickly lifted his head and glared at him, before putting his head back down and saying nothing. "So you don't actually feel that way about gay people?" Larry asked. Travis sighed. 

"I'm gay." was all he said into the silence. When Larry said nothing, he started to disconnect their hands but Larry didn't let go.

"I figured." Larry shrugged. Travis' head shot up and stared at Larry.

"Really?!" 

"Yeah. Anyone that insistent on being straight is usually some type of queer." Travis groaned. Larry chuckled and moved closer to the broken boy. "Does this mean we can be friends now?" Larry asked. Travis looked at him in playful horror.

"Absolutely not." Travis said. Larry pouted. Travis smiled at him before frowning again. "Why would you even want to?" 

"Why not? Listen. I might have been mad at you for being an asshole before, but you apologized, so we can probably work it out." Larry explained. 

"But nothing is gonna change. I'm not gonna change! Tomorrow I will still be an asshole!" Travis said angrily, tears pricking his eyes. 

"Well, why can't you? Who says you have to be like that?" Larry asked. Travis just sighed. 

"I just do." 

"Why? Cause of your father?" Larry asked, sharply. Travis just stared at Larry, then he nodded. 

"If he- if he knew- knew about me, he'd kill me!" Travis said, trying not to cry. Larry studied Travis for a few seconds.

"I'd say you're exaggerating, but you're not, are you? Those bruises, they're from your father, aren't they?" Larry brushed his free hand against Travis' bruised cheek and wiped away a fallen tear. Travis nodded. 

Larry looked at the broken blond in front of him. He didn't deserve this. No one did. Larry leaned over and hugged Travis. Travis stiffened at first but then hugged back, though their hands were still connected.

"It's fine. I deserve it." Travis said as he pulled away from the hug reluctantly. 

"No, you don't! Why the fuck would you deserve that?!" Larry disagreed. 

"It's punishment. I'm a bad kid." Travis said as if reciting it from a memory. He was staring at the wall as if it fascinated him. Larry gently moved Travis' face to look back at him.

"Travis. That's not punishment. That's abuse." Larry said. Travis tried to protest but Larry cut him off. "No. Don't argue. Travis, that's abuse! And you don't deserve this." Larry hugged Travis again. Travis let a tear fall down his face. He pulled away from the hug to wipe it away.

"Sorry." Travis said. "I shouldn't be crying."

"And who told you that? Your father?" Larry asked. Travis nodded in response. He stared at Larry. "You're human. You're allowed to cry when you feel like it." Larry said. Travis gave Larry a small smile but he still didn't let the tears go. Not because he didn't feel like it, but because he wasn't sure if he could call himself human. 

"Who would have ever thought that Larry Johnson would be comforting the school bully?" Travis let out a small chuckle as he said it. Larry just smiled.

"Probably the same people who would have thought we'd both end up here." Larry shrugged. Travis smiled at Larry, who almost fainted from how cute it was. He paused and then lifted his hand to trace the scar on Travis' neck with his thumb. "Is this from your father too?" Travis shook his head. 

"No. That's- that's actually the reason I'm here." Travis said. Larry looked at him, confused. "I did that. I tried to kill myself." Larry gasped lightly. "My dad beat me, again, not even sure what I did. But I was sick of it. So I sliced my own throat open. Unfortunately not good enough, cause I lived." Travis explained. 

The room was silent for a little bit. Neither boy said a word, until Larry broke the silence. 

"Well, I'm glad it wasn't enough to kill you. I don't want you dead." Larry said.

"But your lives would be so much easier if I was gone!" Travis said. 

"No, it wouldn't. Because we wouldn't have this moment. Travis, you might think you can't change, but you can. And I'll help you."

"But, my father-" Travis started to say, but was interrupted by Larry. 

"You don't have to listen to him, and I won't let him hurt you." Larry smiled at the blond next to him, who couldn't help but to smile back.

"Okay." Travis said, eventually. 

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I want to try." Larry gave Travis another hug before standing up and finally releasing Travis' hand.

"We should go to bed now." Larry said.

"Right. Let's go to bed." Travis climbed under his blanket. "Good night." 

"Good night." Larry said back. And then the room fell silent. They eventually both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.