Priest For A Former Lover

chapter 8

"I hope you're happy now," Kenya began as she held her head low.

All her life she was told that nothing could ever make any human being blame God. Nothing and she never did. She grew up knowing that God had plans for everyone and she was part of that too. God knew everything before it even happened and He did everything for the greatness of our lives. Even when she found out that her dad had passed on before she was born and only for a few months, she wasn't mad.

Yes, she did grieve her unknown dad but she never blamed God for anything. And maybe that was because of how her mother had brought her up. She told her to always trust in Him. To never ever blame him for anything because He knows what's best for everyone. He sure does. She had told her that Kenya had believed her mother.

She grew up knowing that God had the best interest. He was always there for her like he was for her mother. He was there answering all her prayers and giving her everything she ever asked for. That was until a few days ago. It was only days but to her it felt like a lifetime. Like the heart break was there even before she was born.

"I've no idea as to why I'm here. I don't know why I chose to run to you instead of clubbing with my friends." She sat in the second row of the church and as she spoke, her tears couldn't be held back. It hurt. It really did but what else could she do. "I've always played by your book Lord. I did and I don't get why this happened to me. I wish that you'd spoken to me first. I wish you had told me that he would break my heart. I sure hoped you'd do that for me.

"My heart bleeds. It does and I don't want to blame you Lord. I really don't but a small part of me does. It blames you because all my life you'd been faithful to me. You were and I appreciate it. I do. But then right now I feel like you let me down. You allowed all this to happen when you could have stopped it. You could have spoken to me from the start. Told me that my stupid crush would lead me to my ruin.

"Yes, my ruin because that's what I feel right now or what's happening to me. You should have send your angel to stop that stupid kid back then. That kid who thought she had found her prince charming and they would live happily ever after. I know that I wouldn't have understood as a child but as an adult I would. I am hundred percent sure that I'd have. But you didn't do it.

"I don't want to blame you. I don't want to feel this pain that I'm feeling right now and I know that the alcohol won't make it right. It never does and that's why I chose to come here. I want to talk to you in person and you've to listen to me because you're the only one who can understand I'm. You are the only one and that's why I came to you. Today you've to listen to me."

Kenya couldn't help the cry that came out of lips. She had been shattered and the worst of all the one who did it gave no explanation to her. It's like she didn't deserve any at all. That's why when she heard Nancy step out of the apartment to get whatever she had gone to get, Kenya dressed up quickly and left before her friend returned. She didn't need alcohol. She never did and that's something her super woman told her growing up as a teenager.

"Alcohol makes you forget for a few moments if you're lucky."

And she didn't need a few hours of numbness then a headache before a heartache. She needed to feel everything. And she needed to talk to the person that she was told He  is always ready to listen to us. Besides,she didn't need to make a drunk call or video to her pope of a boyfriend. She was sure that Nancy would understand the moment she realized that she had gone along with their other friends.

"I'm angry at you. I'm angry at myself the most. And that's because we all let this happen. I let myself open up to love and you let me fall like a stupid person. I want to put the blame on you like I said a few minutes ago but I can't do it or a bigger part of me can't. You never forced me to love him. You never chose him for me like you did with Adam. But here I am. Broken. Hurt. And bleeding.

"To be honest, I am really jealous of you. You got yourself a faithful servant who will serve you. He is the most beautiful soul I've ever met and he is now at your corner. He will help you gain more followers who will love you for always being God of yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. Jealousy is killing me to the extent of me wishing that he was taken by a lady because maybe I would have a hope of getting him back.

"But I can't start a war with you. I don't want to since it's only fools who can do that. I can't stand against you ever. I'm no fool. I just need a favor from you, just take this pain away," Kenya placed her hand on her left and pulled the clothes she wore as if it was her heart. "I know it's nothing compared to you watching your son being killed for people who still keep on sinning against you but it still hurts."

Kenya got to her knees and let her tears flow down her cheeks. She just wanted the pain gone and being able to move on from everything. That's all she had been wishing for for the past few days but then again, God isn't a wish God...

                                   #########

I know it's been forever and I'm really sorry. Life caught up with me and i got time at eleven forty to write and I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. So yeah, it's midnight and I'm really sleepy and gotta get up early for work.

I'll try as hard as I can to update just bear with me.

Quiz: so how was your Christmas?

Mine was great since my brother is done with highschool which I'm happy for and I can't wait to see him start a new chapter of his life. And yeah, has no idea what he wants to be but aren't we like him most of us. 😂😂😂. I also got to spend my time with my family something I haven't done in a while. Who knew adult life would be like this. 😂😂😂