easy to hate u, better to love u 》 bill denbrough

s i x

i hadn't had the energy to get up after collapsing to the ground, so i was still there when i woke up. i tried to distract myself by watching tv, but i couldn't help thinking of the night before. it was becoming overwhelming thinking of all that i ruined last night. 

"you okay?" my dad asked me, looking over to my spot on the couch from his armchair. 

"yeah. just thinking," i said. 

there was a honk out in front of my house. i considered pretending i didn't hear, but i had to at least acknowledge that he was here again. i got up and went outside. of course, henry was here. belch was driving and vic was in the back. 

"where's patrick?" i asked, walking up to the passenger door. 

"he disappeared the other day. just like you," belch said, sounding like he was trying to make me feel guilty. 

"shut the hell up," henry told him. he turned to look at me again. "but it's true. and we haven't been able to get in touch with him either."

"he'll turn up." i sighed. "anyway, why are you guys here?"

"we're gonna drive around again. you're coming," henry said. 

"i can't. my dad wants me to stay home today."

"you sure?" asked vic. 

"fine whatever," i gave in, realizing that henry probably wasn't asking me. "only for a bit though."

"hop in," belch said, gesturing to the backseat where patrick always sat. i considered it for a moment, and got in the car. 

"where exactly are we going?" i ask.

belch pulls out of the driveway, straightens himself out, and slams on the gas. the wind was loud, especially with the roof down, and it blew my hair everywhere as he sped along. "we couldn't finish with tits. but we're gonna go finish with homeschool."

oh fuck. 

-

of course i ended up in this sort of situation again. i was too scared to move. i could barely process what was happening fast enough to think properly. all i know is that i wanted it to stop. i was so scared i couldn't even process who was saying what as they pushed mike onto some kind of animal meat, screamed at him, and hurt him. 

"eat that meat!"

"eat it, bitch!"

"you little fucker!"

"bitch!"

"motherfucker!"

"eat it, you little bitch!"

"pussy!"

"fucking..." 

"whatcha gonna do, huh?"

"get up!"

"get the fuck up!"

"you little fucker!"

"come on, henry, smack him!"

"you little bitch."

"henry! guys! please stop!" i shouted through tears. 

"shut up, [y/n]," henry said through gritted teeth. "shut the fuck up!" he screamed at me, and turned back to mike, ready to beat him until there was nothing left. 

"s-st-stop..." i begged, but nothing i could do or say would help. 

a rock flew across the river we were near, hitting henry. i looked over to the opposite side. the losers were here, ready to fight against them to help mike. and i was on this side. i'd give anything to be on that side right now. 

"you losers are trying too hard," henry began. i shook my head and backed up a step. "she'll do you. you just gotta ask nicely, like i did."

all i had to hear was ben scream before i decided to get the fuck out of there. i ran like hell, faster than i'd ever run before. rocks were flying behind me, and i was not looking to get hurt. "rock war!" i heard one of them scream in the distance, probably trashmouth, knowing he treats everything as if it's a joke. i went back to where belch had parked the car. all the losers bike's were there, laying in the street like twenty feet away from the car that led to nothing but awfulness. i sat by the bikes, hoping the losers would win and i wouldn't be met with a raging henry soon enough. 

belch and vic ran up not too long after the rock war had officially begun, but they didn't seem to have any interest in me. they hopped into belch's car and drove off what i can only assume is the fastest his car can possibly go. 

i sat in the middle of the road, crying into my knees. if only i had been on the other side. 

the losers finally returned after not too long, seemingly victorious. it seems they all worked together and it helped. i was honestly surprised they weren't hurt worse.

denbrough saw me sat by the bikes, and he looked disgusted at me. 

i scrambled up to talk to them. "guys! please you have to understand," i practically pleaded for them just to listen to me. the boys ignored me and walked to their bikes, but beverly stopped to listen. "i would've stopped him if i could. i swear. i'm on your side."

"d-d-don't listen t-to h-h-her guys. sh-she only s-s-says this n-now c-cause she saw w-w-we can b-beat him," bill said, not even looking at me, on his bike and ready to ride off.

"denbrough, please-" he shot me an evil look. "bill... look, you know how he is. you know how he could easily kill me if he wanted to. you know he did this." i gestured to the bruises and cuts all over me. "i don't have any friends like you guys to help. it's just me. if i tried to stand up to him, i would definitely die. so yes, i also want to be protected from him. but i mostly just want to get away."

"well we could help you-" beverly began, but she was quickly cut off by richie. 

"fuck no. we won't help you. it's not our fault you started dating him." ben looked confused at this statement. "we're not gonna protect you from your own lover."

"it's n-not like i chose to love him, tras... richie."

"bullshit."

"hey!" beverly shouted at him. "i think we should hear her out before we completely leave her all on her own against bowers."

bill looked at bev for a moment. the others looked at him, their leader, and waited to see what he had to say.

"f-fine. y-y-your room [y-y/n]?"

"as usual," i said, a small smile forming on my face.