The Kiwi and Sriracha Tragedy

A Night in the Aisle

It was a normal night, the store was full. This was the time of day where the aisle was the loudest, everyone was always constantly yapping to each other.

Right now the taco seasoning was having a dramatic break down over her friend, or should I say lover (they seemed close), because her friend got bought this morning.

"When do you think she'll stop?" I asked my friend next to me.

"I don't know, last time it took two weeks." He sighed angrily.

He clearly hated how dramatic she was. I don't blame him. I mean last time she was constantly whining and complaining to everyone. I don't really understand why she isn't happy for her lovers. It's such a great feat to be bought.

"Gosh is she always like this?" Someone questioned from below.

They must have not been here for the last time. They did restock the shelf's last week.

"Yes." My friend replied, clearly annoyed by taco seasoning.

The taco seasoning packets around her were so supportive too, I don't know how they deal with her in a constant dramatic state.

Just then, out of nowhere, the taco seasoning let out a loud cry that left our ears ringing. There was a wave of "ows" throughout the aisle.

Sweet chili sauce was the first to say anything, "Good gosh, can you please shut the fuck up."

It was hard to defend the taco seasoning because she was annoying. But at the same time sweet chili sauce could be more gentle.

Sweet chili sauce continued, "No one wants to hear you cry endlessly again. So please, shut up."

That "please" might have been the nicest thing sweet chili sauce has ever said.

The taco seasoning immediately snapped back though, "Maybe you would understand if anyone liked you. And just so you know, no one does."

Taco seasoning looked down at the floor expecting an applause like she just made the best comeback in the entire world, but there was nothing but silence. However, it sure did effect sweet chili sauce.

Sweet chili sauce was bubbling in rage now, "Oh yeah, well at least I can keep my self together."

Everyone either scoffed or laughed at that statement in the aisle. Sweet chili sauce was the worst at keeping herself together. She complains all day about something, I would know, I'm right next to her.

"What's so funny?" Sweet chili sauce questioned with a stern look.

I motioned to sweet chili sauce and told her quietly, "Hey, it's best if you just drop it."

"Me!? I have to drop it!? Drop it my ass. And what about taco seasoning over there. Screaming so loud it's impossible to ignore." Sweet chili sauce gave taco seasoning a glare.

"I'm done listening to that no good sweet chili sauce over there," taco seasoning said ignoring sweet chili sauces glare. "I feel bad the whole aisle had to hear that sauce talk."

Sweet chili sauce looked like she had a lot to say. But my friend cut in before she could say anything.

"Hey, it's over, so chill out," he said in a calm serious voice.

Sweet chili sauce grumbled but decided to obey.

The aisle was now the quietest it's been the whole night. Everyone was either silent or quietly murmuring to there friends. Even taco seasoning had stopped.

"Looks like sweet chili sauce got to her," I said to my friend.

"That means I'll be able to sleep tonight," he slightly laughed.

"Yeah maybe you should be thanking me," sweet chili sauce said clearly listening to us.

She had a smug look on her face. I didn't say anything back, and neither did he. What was the point anyway, it would just start another commotion, and it's starting to tone down, which is good. There's also less people in the aisle now so the store must be closing soon.

"Well, I'm gonna get some shut eye, see you in the morning," I say, just before closing my eyes.

"Alright good night," he says back.

But just as I start to doze off, I feel a weird feeling. Like something is carrying me. I repeat that sentence in my mind and realize.

Im being bought.

...