God of war: Ragnarok Reader Inserts

I'm still here, Sindri

MAJOR SPOILERS

Sindri hadn't been the same since Brok. No one had but obviously, Sindri suffered the most. He blamed himself, Kratos, Atreus, Odin, and even me. You tried to be his supporting voice of reason. To help bring his logic to the forefront of an argument. You always paid extra mind to his habits and the way he wanted everything clean. You went with him when he helped Atreus and even defended him when Kratos was upset with him for keeping secrets. "It wasn't his secret to tell!" you'd argued. Brok always loved the way you loved his brother, even if Sindri didn't realize that's what it was. He would tease him constantly, "Sindri, you must have been born nearsighted, youredamn near blind," or "Y/N's panties are in a bunch again, where old Sindri with his sanitary pliers,". Sindri was everything to you and you'd hope that one day you'd mean at least half as much to him.

You didn't want to be all he had left, but as it were, that's what you were. His anger, scorn, hurt, and loss were the only ones he let in to try and help in working through his grief. You never took it personally when you and he has a bad interaction. You always made a point to prioritize his feelings at this moment over your own. He needed to heal and if he let you, you would be there every step of the way.

Today was especially hard. He was at his forge with an empty look I'm his bloodshot eyes. He hadn't cried since the funeral. In fact, he hadn't done much since Ragnarok besides throw things and yell at you. You approached him quietly. "Sindri? You want me to be here with you today?" you asked standing beside him. It was as if he didn't hear you so you gingerly placed your hand on his back and he flinched and looked at you with apprehension. "Sorry, I just wanted to keep you company if that's ok?" you tried again to make some sort of emotional contact with him. "Why are you here?" he asked. His voice was rough with hurt. It was like sandpaper compared to his usual kind, gentle, and slightly unsure tone. "I care about you," you said simply. He shook his head. "Why? I don't have anything else to give. I've lost everything and have nothing," he began to yell as he pushed his tools off his workbench and stalked away.

You crouched down to pick the items up and you couldn't help but feel like you were at your breaking point today. "I just want to be here for you, I understand loss. Of course not of this caliber, but still I know what it's like to be alone. I don't want to leave you alone, Sindri," you mumbled. He was still within earshot. "What if that's what I need?" he asked. "Time to yourself? Sure, but to be left alone? I couldn't do that to you. As much as you don't want to admit it, you can't be alone like this," you said joining him by his side again. He turned to you abruptly. "I don't want you here, I don't need you here. I have nothing and want nothing," he said coldly.

You couldn't take it anymore and you just burst into tears. You sobbed so hard you couldn't find the strength to stand. You fell to your knees and continued to cry. He hesitated before kneeling in front of you. "How could you stay when I'm constantly trying to push you away?" he whispered. You looked at him and took a deep breath. "Because I love you," you said. He looked at you with a vulnerability you hadn't seen in so long. "Why?" he asked. You shook your head. "Sindri, I love everything about you. You haven't been yourself since...everything. You've been mean and cold but I understand that you're hurting in an indescribable way. I will always be here for you. I will love you forever, even if you don't love me back," you said. He was quiet for too long so you stood up and went back to cleaning up.

He didn't say anything to you for a while. You went about your usual self-given chores of his current place. He didn't clean like he used to. He wasn't a germaphobe anymore. He seemed not to feel anything but grief. Once you made your way into his room to change his sheets and tidy up the place he decides to talk to you again. "Hey, Y/N. I'm sorry," he said quietly. You finished putting the new sheets on the bed and smoothes everything out. "I know and it's ok, you don't have to be sorry about not returning my feelings," you smiled at your handy work not turning to look at him. You couldn't handle any more rejection at this point. "Look at me, Y/N," he demanded but it was closer to a request. You turned to him slowly and looked at the ground. "I have nothing, everything I had is gone. You'd be stuck here more so than you already are if I were to be selfish," he mumbled. "Sindri, you still have me, I'm still here," you whispered. His eyes searched yours for any hesitation and when he found none he grabbed your hands and intertwined his fingers with yours. "I care for you deeply, I don't want to lose you too. I thought it would be better to push you away," he said with tears in his eyes. You brought him to the bed and sat him down. "You can let go with me. You don't have to be strong for me. It's ok to not be ok," you said still holding his hands.

He looked at you before the dam broke. He began sobbing and shaking and you pulled him close to you. He flinched at first as he wasn't used to the contact but after a moment he wrapped his arms around you and finally let go. You laid him down eventually and you stayed with him as he worked through his grief after holding it in for so long. He eventually fell asleep and you never left his side. In his sleep, he mumbled your name over and over. "Love...you," he slurred in his sleep. It made your heart skip a beat. And you brought him closer.

The next morning you woke up alone in his bed. "Sindri?" you called out as went to look for him. "In the kitchen...love," he hesitated and you heard him muttering to himself about his choice of a pet name. "Sindri, you made breakfast and called me love? What's going on here?" you asked with a sly smile. "I just wanted to treat the person in my life, the person that loves me. The person that I...love..." he trailed off at the end but you got the picture. "Oh, Sindri," you said with a huge smile. He walked up to you and kisses your cheek before returning back to what he was doing. You sat at the table and watches him while he talked about the good times and some bad times he had with Brok and overcoming his fears once again.

Today he made the first step to recover from grief. Today he made the first step to pursuing love.