,I wish I could feel my tummy roll back in the right direction. Not that bad gut feeling, itchy skin, puffed-up eyes and lowered mouth. I hate myself for the people reading this, its nothing new, I really want to put an end to it. There isn't any doubt about that. I'm meaningless, useless and fat. Where is it worth . The best thing about me is that people used me for their own happiness. But I would never let anyone sacrifice for me, even though no one offered it to me.My worst enemies are friends so I don't get hurt. Tears falling down sinffels through the nose. Blurry eyes and a dark shadow hugging me is kinda comforting...it's the only comfort I will receive, I want someone to listen to me without blaming...maybe I am the fault that's why I'm being blamed, I'm an evil, mean, dirty, dumb, helpless, ugly, fat and mad girl.That's what the world thinks. But I'm no villain. I hurt myself for the sake of other people. I embarrassed myself to make everyone cooler than me. Evil? That's the way you go about your life, but I would never break a heart on purpose. I'll feel guilty and I'll have this feeling of shame on my stomach. Dirty? I am not filthy. I don't have dirty skin. My mind isn't........ well idk. Dumb? I swear I'm clever and I'm trying to be... well, I don't know. Helpless? I help other people, but never myself... Am I defenseless? Well idk. Ugly? Well, my face is kind of...... not sure. Fat? Well, that's one thing right. Sofia, you wrote this stuff on your own, why are you thinking too much? I don't know if that's what people are saying. Ive pushed people away and cried when they left. Am I foolish about that? I'm losing the people I love to the good of other people who continue to love them... it doesn't make sense, does it? I sympathize and people do not, when will they realize that I am also human, that I have a heart and a spirit. I have never seen anyone worry about what I would feel or think, will the time come? Sofia's got her hopes up.
