I can't believe it. I'm losing my long-cherished childhood to some basic posers. WHY Doesn't SHE NOTICE? I'm so disappointed as we used to talk until late into the night and I helped her so very much.once I tried to tell her about a cruel girl's disturbing relationship and she responded that "I'm so happy for them". How about me? Once I told her about my partnership, she was sad and dissatisfied with me.She left me feeling disappointed and told me it's not good. WHY DOES SHE NOT THINK THE SAME ABOUT HER, and why is it I the person who would get trash and shit on? Is it possible that I am unusual? Do I not resemble her? Am I dull? Am I being too truthful? Is my loyalty excessive? WHO. AM. I? Everything in my life really is screwing up, and I'm missing my willingness to live. Except when I'm with some guy; when I talk to him, I feel free and often without worries, but once he is gone, so am I. I simply want it to be over. To discover who truly cares and what will be said at my death. Why is it considered a sin, oh my dear God, I might be committing the greatest sin if anyone who knows me reads this. Please don't feel sorry for me. I'm exhausted, and being pitied would tear me because it's not that you're feeling sorry, it's that you're comparing me to you, which tends to make you want to feel guilty, but if you care?....its not that. I hope that my friends start to appreciate me before I leave and that people recognize I'm inside a dark area without a view. and light.Oh god, please light up a match for myself. Just tell me whether I will make it, andgoing to make it, as well as please give me a fairytale ending just like everyone else. Envy is increasing. Why can't I be carefree and content? I wish I wasn't so aware of what's going on all around me. I wish I didn't know about the side gazes I get from my friends. I wish I didn't recognize the number of individuals I know who are wishing for my collapse. I wish I didn't know the girl who was so loud to flirt with a dude from across classroom. I wish I had known how to leave my troubles alone. Actually, I'd like to encounter a copy from myself.I truly believe it would be my finest day. Someone who is truly loyal and has good intentions, and will constantly defend each other. I want somebody to protect me when somebody is badmouthing me, not somebody who makes the person feel at ease while slandering me. What became of me? When did I lose my passion? Did I already misplace it? Isn't it too soon? Is it true that I'm no longer entertaining? Am I being too upfront and honest? Is it possible that I am too much of a good friend? Is it wrong for me to defend my enemies against others? Is it wrong for me to defend my friends? Is it wrong for me to inform others about toxic people? Is it wrong for me to warn people not to end up like the sluts on the corner? I wish I could play a different role. Dont care who tells me "don't worry about others," but why do you start making me care about others? YOU are the person I should be concerned about. YOU are the one who is attempting to make me feel safe with you in order to backstab me. YOU are the source of the problem. YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU. YOU ARE THE ISSUE. You made me feel this way. You are the one who does not want to see me happy because you created me. Ahhh, someone who wants me to be happy.....what that's I'm looking for. I want someone who genuinely cares about my happiness. before you say me you want me to be happy. Take a moment to reflect. Do you really believe it? Will you make certain that no one talks about me? Do you tell me the harsh reality? Do you not tell me what other people have said because you know it is meaningless? Do you allow me to open up? Do you want me to feel safe in your company? Will you take a step back for me? I've lost someone who genuinely cared about my happiness. It was the person who set me on my downward spiral. They did not intend to harm me, but they did what was right for them, and I respect it. They have earned it. I only want to hug them once, even if I must pass through heaven and hell to do so. I would like to feel their reassuring arms around me, as well as their warm aroma and love. Oh, what I would give to feel that way. A one hug. Please bring me joy, God. Make me the joyful little girl I once was. Make my sorrows vanish. Give me people who are good for me. A person who will do things for me without being told. Just someone who cares.... genuinely
song i recommend:
strange-celeste
