I hope I don't get too far this time because it's soon going to be my precious little birthday. Wow, I'm 13 years old, and I'm so happy. It's not like I'll be saying that every day, but it feels like nice things are going to happen to me. In any case, something did occur! Today, while chatting trash with his pal, my crush fat shamed me. What kind of good is that, you ask yourself? Never did I claim it was. I was so broken by it that I immediately wanted to end my life. Although I was aware of my weight, I never expected that someone I once loved would feel that way about me. I know we are now enemies, but wasn't that going too f ar? Anyhow, I'm going to say something stupid right now, and nobody can criticize me. I sincerely, sincerely hope my first love sends me birthday greetings. Even though it has been a year after our breakup, that was the only time I have ever felt truly loved and cared for. I went on, but I never stop hoping that our tiny paths will cross again because I can never forget them.I wasn't actually the happiest I've ever been, but it was one of the happiest times of my life. The first person to confess to me was the beginning of my first relationship and my first love. But I'm a fool; I didn't realize it was online. We had set a date to meet, but it never happened. I'm usually embarrassed that I had a romance at such a young age, yet for some reason I'm not embarrassed about my first love. They appear to have not changed much other than become more self-assured and having their own PFP, which bothers me. Seeing them again was like hearing them for the first time. falling head over heels in love all over again. To catch their attention, I'd like to text them. But they hate me and can't stand me; I wish they felt the same way I did since I know we could've had a longer conversation if I hadn't been so tardy in showing up. Many things are ruined for me by my damn mind. But as it destroyed this form, I started to feel down and suicidal. How can I inform my mother without risking her dismissing my concerns? If my pals are uninterested, how do I tell them? Why am I so depressed when I should be happy and in love every day? I guess I'm a nasty youngster. I want to scream my worries out loud in the middle of a forest, with fresh air blowing through my hair. Being able to fully breathe fresh air. letting everything out and not holding anything back I wish I could see a therapist, but my mother will condemn me. I'm hoping to be done soon.
