𝙏𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙈𝙖𝙮 𝙍𝙖𝙞𝙣 // Paul McCartney

¸.·✩·.¸¸.·¯⍣✩ 29. 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬✩⍣¯·.¸¸.·✩·.¸

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september 30, 1961

paul groggily looked at himself in the mirror. he turned on the faucet, cupping his hands and collecting some cold water before splashing it on his face. he then proceeded to grab a toothbrush, not even sure if it was his, and lazily brushed his teeth. he stared at himself in the mirror, focusing on his long, unkept hair and newly formed eye bags.

he gagged as he spit out the toothpaste, his hangover overtaking him. he looked at his wrist, checking the time to see how much he had to spare before his next set of shows began. he sighed as he realized he had smashed the face of his watch, and angrily pulled it off of his wrist, throwing it next to the sink before opening the medicine cabinet.

he rifled through all of the pill bottles and miscellaneous boxes before he found just what he was looking for-- preludin.

he fumbled the bottle open, pouring a few little white pills into his hand and throwing them back into his mouth, swallowing them dry.

he jumped as there was a pounding at the bathroom door.

"sweets, hurry it up! i've got to take a tinkle" giggled dot.

paul scrambled to throw the pills back in their place. he opened the door to find dot standing below him, engulfing him in a hug before she passed him and locked herself in the bathroom.

he sighed, walking himself to his dresser and picking out some clothes.

"dear, why don't we go get some breakfast?"

"can't," responded paul, "i've got a recording session,"

dot sighed, sitting on the bed next to him as he got ready. "it feels like you never have time for me anymore... i'm your fiancee for fucks sake!"

paul furred his eyebrows, already frustrated with his busy schedule. the last thing he wanted to do was have the same fight-- it was over and over with her.

"dot, dear, listen to me. i'm doing all i can... there's just some thing's i've got to do for myself,"

"i'm not coming with today, hope that's alright."

"fine by me." he responded shortly, thoughts filling his head. dot and him had been on and off since early spring. when dot told paul she was pregnant, he felt he had only one choice-- get married, settle down, and make his father happy. he moved back to liverpool, got a real job for the time being, and supported her as much as he could.

a few months into her pregnancy and their engagement, dot sadly miscarried. since then, paul couldn't shake a feeling that it was a blessing in disguise.

sure, it sounded messed up. he wanted a family, he loved her-- at least he thought he did at a time. after it happened, he realized how young he was, and that he was in no place to be a good husband or father at the young age of 19. they broke things off shortly after, and paul returned to hamburg. sure, it may not have been the smartest move for his personal reputation. half of the town shamed him for leaving his fiancee in her painful moment, but he was struggling on how to react to the situation himself-- so he left it.

in that moment, as he left dot, he began to realize why elaine had done the same just a year prior. loss can do funny things to your brain.

paul and dot got back together each time he was back in town. she still referred to him as her fiancee, and wore the ring he had gotten her-- things were complicated, but paul was too busy to do anything about it. she had now come back to hamburg hoping to fix things one last time.