MY MYSTERIOUS MAN

Chapter 17

Am I hearing that right, right now? 

Pregnant? Who? Me? WHAT? 

I am sweating and trembling. I don't think I am hearing it right, right? I must be still feeling dizzy. That's why I am hearing things. 

"This is a lie, right? You are just messing with me right?" 

A mother? me? I never even had any man in my life. Not a relationship. I never had sex with anyone so how could I get pregnant? 

There is no way. 

"There must be a misunderstanding! I have never slept with a man so it's impossible for me to get pregnant" 

My mind is going blank. This is not right! 

Please someone tell me this is a dream! 

"Ahhhhh" My head hurts. I don't know what's happening anymore. 

"Nandini! ...nandini please relax. Doctor!" 

"Nandini calm down. It is not good for the baby" 

"I am not pregnant!" 

"Alright! we will do a test one more time so please calm down" 

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I have never felt his chilling fear in my life. Not even when I felt like my father is going to kill me. I can't be a mother. I can never be a mother. I am a murderer and I don't deserve something like giving a new life to someone also I don't know with whom I had the baby. I don't have a habit of drinking. I am only having gaps in my memories recently. Is that when it happened? 

Do I have something like a split personality? 

Did I really sleep with someone? Or was I raped? Is that report even right? 

Am I really pregnant? Is she coming out and telling me it's just a big misunderstanding? Will it be fine? 

"Nandini"

My legs are trembling. I don't want to go inside that room. But I have to. I don't have a choice. 

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"Ms. Nandini, You indeed are pregnant" My mind went blank. I didn't want to hear that. 

"That cannot happen! I have never been with a man!" 

"I heard that so it's best for you to take a test regarding that" 

"Test?" 

"Yes, please follow me" 

I cannot be pregnant. There is honestly no way! 

I stood up slowly and followed her. 

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"You lost your virginity Ms. Nandini and If you seriously can't remember it then this is considered rape." 

"Rape?" 

I was raped? 

When? who? 

"Ahhh" 

"Nandini calm down!" 

"I don't want this. Let me be peaceful for once. Why does this always happen to me? Why can't I have a peaceful life like others? Why me? why always me??" 

I seriously don't want this... I don't 

My head is spinning. 

"Nandini calm down!" 

"I don't want--"

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I woke up and again I am lying in the same hospital room and on this hospital bed looking at the same ceiling. This place is torture. 

I should go home. I am pregnant. I can't change anything now. I need to calm down first. I need time for myself to process things. 

I sat up on the bed. 

"Nandini, you woke up? How are you feeling?" 

"Let me go home" Her face looks surprised and she is biting her lip as if she is stopping herself from saying something to me. 

I wonder what my face is looking like for her to make such an expression. 

"Alright" She helped me get down and paid all the hospital bills by herself. I should pay it back later to her. 

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"Please be careful" She spoke standing in front of my door. 

"Thank you for everything today. I will pay back everything soon" I spoke and shut the door. 

I slowly walked to the mirror and removed my top. 

With many bruises my body looks ugly, Every single time I look at myself like this I feel ashamed and couldn't take my eyes off my scars but today I couldn't shift my gaze from my belly. 

There is a baby in here. 

My baby.

I don't know who the father is and probably I was raped. 

I don't remember anything so they must have used some anesthesia on me or something to make me unconscious or I could've genuinely forgotten because I am a crazy person with many head wounds. 

I don't know what I should do now. 

The baby can't have a crazy mother like me. I might hurt it accidentally just like my father. I am sure he didn't want to hurt me but it happened and just the way what if I hurt my child too? 

I can never be a mother but also I can't kill life. This is a life that is born from me. I can't ... I don't know... 

Why do bad things always happen to me? 

Why me always? 

Am I that unlucky of a person? 

I don't even have a man but now I have a baby. My life is just so great. If it was not for the life living in me. I would've considered killing myself. It is enough already. I am sick and tired of these unending miserable things happened to me. I am sick of everything. I just wish death would come sooner than normal for now. I can only wish that. 

I can never abort my child. I will raise this. I will raise it on my own. There was never a need for someone for me so I will do everything on my own! 

Why does my heart hurt so much?