A Forever Type Of Love

The Truth/Chapter 16

Y/n's POV:
There's no way i just said that... Oh shit i did.

"You what?" I can hear the utter shock in her voice and i curse myself out in my head for being so stupid. Why the hell would i just blurt it out like that. Jesus thats another friendship over, one i cared about way to much.

"I..um..I..Lets head back to the car." And with that i let go of her hand and turn around to head towards my car. I hear her following close behind. She doesn't say anything though, part of me is glad she hasnt and the other part of me is thinking that can't be good. All i know is i can't even attempt to look into her eyes, i wouldn't be able to cope with a look of hate from the woman i have such strong feelings for.

As we get to the car i unlock it and although it's super awkward right now i still open her door for her, completely avoiding looking in her direction. As she gets in i can feel her eyes on me as i shut the door. I make no attempt to look at her though, a feeling of guilt and embarassment flowing through me.

I get in the car and start it, driving whilst keeping my eyes on the road, no way am i looking in her direction. The car is filled with a silence so defening it makes my chest feel tight. Oh no. As i notice my chest get tighter i also notice my breathing starting to pick up, shit not now. Of course right now Y/n it's just your luck. I try to hide it as best i can but to no avail. It doesn't take Lizzie long to notice.

"Y/n/n pull over, your having a panic attack!" I feel her eyes on me and i know she's right so for our safety i do as she says. I pull off into a car park and jump out closing the door. My body slides down to the floor my back against the car. I curl up into a ball and let the panick attack ride it's course. I'm used to them but the length can be anywhere from 2 minutes to 30. I'm so caught up in it that i don't even notice Lizzie get out the car until her hand is on my arm. It makes me jump but once i realise it's her i calm down.

"It's okay love, just look at me okay? Please just look at me." I open my eyes and make eye contact with her for the first time since letting slip that i was inlove with her. She doesn't have a look of hatred like i thought she would though, more like a look of guilt or pity. She gives me a warm smile and i look at her mouth, her smile always makes me calmer.

"Thank you. Now breathe with me okay? Just breathe like i am and watch my mouth alright?" I can hear that she's upset by the way she speaks. Since i'm struggling to breathe  i nod to let her know i'm listening. She begins to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth, I do as she says and watch her. To anyone else around us we must look like right wierdos.

After a few minutes i realise my breathing has slowed down and my chest feels normal again, thank god. I look back at her eyes and she stops doing the breathing exercise. I admire her face for a few seconds before replying. "Thank you Liz, i feel better now." She gives me a big smile and squeezes my arm. I momentarily forgot what happened a few minutes ago at the beach until it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Give me the keys, i'll drive okay?" I nod my head and get back onto my feet. I open the drivers door recieving a thank you from her before getting into my own side. We continue the drive back in complete silence, a little less awkward than before but still enough to put me on edge. I keep my eyes on the view outside the window and breathe a sigh of relief as we finally get back to the house.

I step out and head round do open the door for Lizzie, not being able to just walk inside no matter how uncomfortable it feels, thats simply how i was raised. As she steps out and locks the car i open the door and head inside. As soon as she shuts the door i speak. "Okay, i'm going to bed goodnight!" And before she has a chance to say anything i head for my bedroom and shut my door.

As i throw myself on the bed after getting into a hoodie and joggers i look at the roof and think back to how badly this night has ended. Why did i let that slip!? I was never going to act on my feelings so i don't understand how i could have just let it out like that. I don't even know how she reacted since as soon as i said it i completely avoided eye contact.

Shit Y/n what if she never speaks to you again!? What am i going to do...

Lizzie's POV:
As i watch her sprint into her room and close the door i puff out the breath i have been holding in since she told me. I certainly wasn't expecting her to just blurt it out like that. I also don't know why i said nothing? I mean i feel the same as she does so why did i not just confess right then and there? Stupid Lizzie.

I feel a huge wave of guilt as i remember seeing her face during her panick attack. One that i definitely caused. All because i was in shock. All i can think is now is the perfect time to just tell her.

As i get changed into my comfies i sit on the bed staring at nothing. Just thinking about how if i don't tell her now i may never. I had a few wines with dinner so i'm feeling a little more confident.

I find myself outside Y/n's door, nervous but ready to tell her everything. I knock on her door gently and wait as i hear shuffling outside the door. As soon as she opens it our eyes connect and i instantly realise that those are the eyes i always want to look into. This is the right thing to do.

"Y/n/n, i need to tell you the truth."

Authors note
Ohhhhh damn. I'm sorry for leaving it like that but i don't have time to right anymore but i still want use to have some of it! I hope you like this one, full of emotions but it should end happy ;)

See you in the next chapter friend!