Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots

Shopping Spree (Aku x Kunikida)

(Literally is my mom in the store though -_-)

(In honor of my Aku plush)

(Word of inspiration: Grapefruit)

"Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes....." I muttered to myself.

I walked over more. Still, I couldn't find what I was looking for.

'Maybe Ranpo would know his way around the supermarket better. Or Kenji.'

This was certainly an uneventful trip to the store. I couldn't even find the first thing on my list. And I had no idea why Dazai had asked me to get him this.

Of course, I'd told him to get it himself, but there's no way he'd do that. Besides, I was going anyway. It'd be a waste of time and energy for him to have to put in extra work just because of me.

'Though it would be nice if that lazy bum would do something.'

I kept walking around in hopes of finding what I was looking for.

"I'm telling you it's over here!" Someone yelled in a female voice.

It was so loud that it startled me. I looked around, and to my surprise, there was Akutagawa. With him were two children.

One of them I recognized, the other I didn't. The girl I'd seen walking around town before with the boss of the mafia. The other one I'd never seen.

"I just want to go back and play Sonic Schoolhouse.... This is rather boring."

"At least you finally get a day out of there though!" The girl replied.

"Yeah, but I only get to go to the store. Nowhere else."

"Hm.... You have a point...."

"Can you two hurry up? I don't want to be here longer than I must."

The two children stopped and looked at each other before continuing walking behind Akutagawa. The girl said, "Of course you want to leave, you vampire."

"I'm not a vampire," Akutagawa replied.

"No, you're just emo," the unknown child continued.

The girl glanced at me and whispered something to the other child, who then looked over at me as well. The girl nodded and pulled at Akutagawa's sleeve.

I realized I'd been staring and turned around, pulling out my notebook and looking inside. I glanced at my list and remembered why I'd spent so much time here.

'That damn idiot Dazai!' I thought to myself.

Akutagawa coughed a bit and then told the children to "ignore that man. He's unimportant."

"He looks like a nerd," the blonde girl said.

"That explains why he's unimportant," the other child said.

Kunikida tried to ignore that comment.

All of a sudden, a smirking Dazai appeared in Kunikida's mind.

'Did he plan on me running into them here?'

Kunikida decided to ask a nearby worker in the store where the tomatoes were. The worker looked at him weird, then told him that he was in a meat store.

Kunikida was officially embarrassed. Then, he was angry.

'That idiot Dazai did this on purpose! I bet he's laughing at me back at the agency!'

Kunikida was about to storm out of the store when he heard someone yell at him.

"Hey, nerdy guy! Get over here!"

It was the kid from earlier. He followed the child to see Akutagawa having a coughing fit.

Ignoring who it was, Kunikida immediately jumped into action. After a few minutes, he gave Akutagawa some water. Akutagawa refused at first, but then accepted it on the girl's orders.

'Why does a child have more official standing than Akutagawa?'

Deciding his questions weren't important (because they never are), Kunikida asked Akutagawa if he was ok.

"I'm fine, Detective Man."

"First I'm a nerd and now I'm just a detective? What is with you mafia people?"

"We're chaotic neutral," the girl said.

The other kid nodded.

After that, Kunikida walked out of the store. As he was leaving, the child ran over to him. They shoved a piece of paper into his hands and then ran off without a word. On the paper was a phone number.

~

A few hours later, Kunikida decided to call the number. After a ring, someone answered.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"My name is Kunikida."

"Mine is Akutagawa."

Author's Note:
*Misses the bold button three times*

Song: "I'm not into bacon"
Me: Wha-? Ok...... That's weird ;-;

Moving on, you have just read 710 words! Congrats! (So it's now 717, who cares?)

Anyway, this is the last official chapter of this oneshot book. Hope you enjoyed! There will be a bonus chapter, mainly because I miss doing those. But don't worry, someday there will definitely be a book 2. Most likely when I have too many ideas- wait that's already happened? Pineapples.

Plot twist: there's actually 773 words ;)