last words of a shooting star

chapter 1

Chuuya was standing at the edge of a cliff, it was raining, the flowers and grass around him were wet and waved as the wind blowed them from one side to another. A soft breeze ran through his curly ginger hair as a tear was running down his eyes. That was it, if he took another step and finally, finally the young man could retake what was stolen. A choice. His first and last choice. He wouldn't have to suffer anymore, he could be free and finally take control over his body and not be just a killing tool. He would destroy the God inside of him forever and free all the souls he had killed. It was over.

Suddenly as he set his foot on the air, ready to jump a pair of arms grabbed his waist from behind and pushed him on the grass "You promised chuuya, you swore you wouldn't try to kill yourself again." the bruenette watched the ginger laying on the ground "COULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE DAZAI?! YOU DONT GET IT DO YOU?! I HAVE TO!"

Chuuya looked at him straight in the eyes full of anger, you could see the bruenette in his ocean blue eyes "You keep trying to but when you put your foot on the air you stop. You're scared to kill yourself aren't you slug?" Dazai looked at him with pity as he got up and punched him "IM NOT FUCKING SCARED! MIND YOUR OWN BUSSINESS!"

Dazai would usually chuckle at the punch by his ex partner but he was dead serious "You have come to this cliff almost five times, this is the fifth one and you still don't have the confidence to jump, you're scared." Chuuya hated this, he hated dazai, he wanted to punch him till he bled out, he made him feel weak and he doesn't like feeling weak. If he is supposed to be a weapon or a tool he could at least do it right.

"Well how many times have you tried jumping huh? Don't come here telling me how I'm scared when you're the weaker one between us." Dazai smiled, he wanted to hide how chuuya tried to hurt him and almost succeed "At least I actually jumped" "But failed! Look at you! You even failed at that!" Dazai forgot that chuuya was in the middle of committing suicide and just continued the fight, he knew it wasn't right but he wouldn't let chuuya win this "At least I'm not useless unlike you, a tool that can't even do its job correctly"

Dazai stopped talking when he saw chuuya having a tear on his eyes "Don't fucking talk to me again" he said as he turned his back on the bruenette and walked down the cliff to go home. When dazai arrived at the ginger's door it was locked "Did he really lock it?" he whispered to himself as he bang on the door "Slug! Open the door!" he got no answer "Chuuya!" he could hear water running from the bathroom sink, he was standing there for some seconds but then as he stretched his bag he heard a jiggle from his pocket, it was the keys chuuya had given to him in case something happened, he opened the door and walked to the bathroom as he took off his coat and threw it on the couch "Why is there blood in the bathtub?" "Hello to you too osamu"

"Why is there blood chuuya?" "Just corruption scars" "You scratched them?" the ginger didn't answer as dazai put his sleeves up "Don't you dare touch me bandage freak" Dazai put his hands on the bathtub that was filled with hot water "Why is the temperature so high? It burns your body" he said as he filled it with some cold water so it gets a normal temperature. After some minutes he gave chuuya a towel and when he finished draining his body the bruenette took some medicine and was ready to clean the wounds "I don't need your help"

Dazai approaches him slowly and he doesn't step back, instead he sits on the bed and the bruenette sits next to him and softly touches the palm of the ginger's hand "can I touch yours scars? They need some medicine so they don't get infected" He clicked his tongue and turned his head before muttering "Just get it over with mackerel" dazai smiled softly as he put on medicine on the wounds, it burned like hell and chuuya was biting his lip until it bled from the pain he was feeling. Dazai noticed that the ginger was in pain and squeezed the palm of his hand and made chuuya focus on him so he could forget the burn he felt from the medicine and whispered in his ear "just look at me with those pretty eyes and hold my hand" as dazai said that his gentle words stopped chuuya's pain. Some minutes later the bruenette put on some bandages on chuuya's bruises and cleaned up the bathtub.

Chuuya fell asleep and dazai was just wondering around when he saw a notebook under the shorter boy's bed, it was something like a journal or diary, it had a photo of chuuya that the flags has found of him as a kid, thoughs on his brother, things about himself and how he coughs blood every morning. Dazai felt empty. He never knew that chuuya felt like that, he walked up to him and softly ran his hand on his neck and ginger hair "Why didn't you tell me you felt like that you slug"

Chuuya woke up, took off the dirty bandages and stared at himself in the mirror as he coughed some blood on the sink and cleaned it with some water. Later he made some coffee and sat on the couch, he didn't have any missions today so he could just lay down, he checked on his phone '0 missed calls' he then realised dazai had already left for work since his coat wasn't left somewhere in the house since he never puts it in the wardrobe.

After some hours the ginger heard the door unlocking and dazai walked in with a bag full of medicine and some ramen "whats all that?" "I asked a doctor about your blood coughing problem and he told me you should get this medicine" "how do you-" dazai sat next to him and put the ramen and medicine on the table "and I got some ramen because I thought you would be hungry" "Did you had to convince kunikida you had a date with a woman or you were busy again?" Dazai chuckled and started eating his ramen "Nope, I don't think I even have to anymore"

There was silence between them for a while but then chuuya decided to break it "How did you know I cough blood?" "I read your notebook" chuuya slightly coughed and then started yelling at dazai "WHY DO U KEEP TOUCHING MY STUFF!" "I never knew you felt like that" "Huh?!" "All this years of being your partner and I knew some of the things you had written, while some others I never even imagined you would feel them"

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