last words of a shooting star

chapter 8 - the end

TW: suicide

Death. Most people would say it's terrible right? I mean losing someone you love and you know you can never get them back, or that they disappeared in a painful way, it's hurting you. But I think its beautiful, finally peace from a miserable life, that makes you feel disguisted even thinking about it and twisting your organs. Life is terrible compared to death, you have to wake up and suffer everyday, scars all over your body that you have to watch, having to put a smile on your face and play the clown to everyone else around you and even returning back to your house just to drink your feelings away, if you have any.

Chuuya was holding my hand when he opened his eyes, but when he saw my face he let go of it immediately and growned in pain. He doesn't want me around does he?

That's what I thought but when everyone was away, he opened his mouth and talked with such a straight and not stuttering tone, like he was so sure and had made up his mind

"Osamu" I looked at him and didn't let my off him "yes?" "I will die tomorrow, if you want to follow me do it, but don't get in my way, I will go to that cliff I always go, but this time I won't be a coward like you said, I will jump and end my misery and suffering, it's over fucker" he wasn't looking at me, he had his eyes fixed on the ground, he couldn't face me and say those words. I sighed. That was it, it's the right time for chuuya to die.

"I won't stop you, chuuya" my voice didn't break either, I said his name passionately too "I will follow you" I can't believe I said that. Double suicide? With him? The agency can survive without me for sure, they will make it, but what about fyodor? What am I saying? "You don't need to" "I will" I didn't even hesitate. Back then I was so obsessed with dying, even if it was with him, no, especially because it was with him.

But before I died, I was suddenly obsessed with life and being alive.

The next morning came really quickly, the sun rissed and I helped chuuya escape from the hospital, we went to that cliff. It was beautiful since spring had came, we were barefoot and the grass was tickling my skin, flowers all around us. The sun was reflecting against his face, I stared at him while he was.. laughing? A smile was all over his lips and I could hear the angelic sound of his laughter. Why was he laughing? I didn't ask though. I didn't want to ruin this moment, it was probably the last time I would see him laughing, or he would laugh himself.

A soft breeze ran through his hair as the light of the hot sun hit his freckled face. He had stopped chuckling, he was staring at the sky, but he was calm. No expression on his face, and probably his brain was empty, he didn't seem like he was thinking about anything. He looked at me staring at him, I smiled gently. I don't know why, I just did.

He held my hand and walked to the edge of the cliff with me, he took a deep breath and squished my hand, his palm was warm "are you sure you want to do this?" "So sure as you are" I said, and I meant it, I had decided it, I would die with him. "I guess this is a goodbye" he didn't look at me. At that moment, even if I was staring at him a moment ago, i had forgotten what his eyes and his face looked like, this ocean heaven that always captivated me. "Goodbye chuuya" I said with a soft and eagerly voice.

We jumped, we didn't count, he just walked forward and took me with him, while we were mid air, he had closed his eyes, not because he was scared, because he was relieved. He could finally end the suffering that God arahabaki had caused him, and he was doing it with his partner too. I could feel the palm of his hand getting colder and colder, at the force my bandages flew away, and as we hit the ground, everything went blank.

I don't remember how it felt, but as we were falling I regretted it all, I wanted to keep him alive, to make him happy, but it was too late. The fall didn't hurt, it was relaxing. For some minutes I could hear everyone's screaming and saying to call an ambulance but then I couldn't anymore. But I could still sense his presence, he was next to me, even after death.

Thats a tragic romance story isn't it? But even at the end we were still the famous double black, our souls stopped beating at the same time, our bodies collapsed at the same time, we were still together.

I don't know what he thought or if he was hurt when we fell, but I knew one thing, he was happy. He was finally happy, true happiness.

The end

Author's notes: another book ended, I just wanted to say thank you and if you need anything my discord is via ★#1608 , text me if you need anything