Crash

Hungary

Another week for Charles and Penelope meant the start of a new grand prix. This one was exciting for two main reasons - this was the last race before summer break (something Penelope was very much looking forward to as it signalled the start of a long four weeks free of Mattia Binotto)and perhaps more importantly, her entire family were coming to visit. That meant all four of her brothers, her sister-in-laws and her nieces, all travelling to Hungary to watch Charles race. Funnily enough, it had actually been his idea to invite them.

"Excited?" Charles asked her as she sat in the passenger seat of his Ferrari, heading for the airport. Earlier this morning, he'd been through vigorous medical checks to make sure he was fit to race. They'd had a talk late last night where she'd asked him if he was sure that getting back in the car was the right thing to do, and he'd insisted it was. In a way, she admired him for his dedication. She was proud of him for the effort he was putting in, and she was proud to call him her boyfriend. 

"I'm not sure excited is the right word," she muttered, twiddling her fingers the way she always did when she was anxious. "Is it too late to call them and cancel?"

Knowing what to do, Charles reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, stopping her shaking. "This is a good thing, Nell. Think of the girls. They'll be so excited to see you."

Penelope stared at the road ahead of her, watching the horizon speed past. "It's been so long since I've seen them. Even when I was fighting with my brothers, I sent them letters every month. My problem was never with them. I didn't want them to think I abandoned them."

Charles squeezed her hand again, but she barely felt it. She hadn't been feeling much of anything since yesterday. Everywhere she went, she just felt this emptiness, like something inside of her had died. Please, she begged silently, please don't let this last forever. 

"You didn't abandon them. You got out of a bad situation, and now you're in a better position to be a positive role model to them. They love you, Penelope. Sometimes that's enough."

"You think I can do that from half the world away?"

"I do. And I think that they'll understand that, too. This is a step in the right direction. A month ago, you weren't even speaking to your brothers. Now they're flying out to see us. That's a good thing, I promise."

Outside, rain began to fall, drops slowly running down the glass of the windows as Charles drove. Not long now before they reached the airport. Her stuff was in the trunk with his, but they weren't heading to the same destination today. While Penelope was heading to the airport to pick up her family, he was going straight to the track for last minute meetings and PR activities he was obligated to do. That made everything feel a little harder, not having him by her side. Still, as she sat there, staring out at the hillside and feeling his hand holding hers, she couldn't help but think of how lovely it was, to be here, being rained on together. 

It was sweet, but it was too short. If life had allowed, she wished he could've turned the car around and taken her somewhere far away. But they couldn't do that, because even though she didn't want to leave, she had to go. 

Before long, he was pulling up in front of the airport drop off, giving her this little smile that said so many things at once in a way that only she could understand. Deep breath, then a kiss that lasted longer than it should have, his fingers lingering in her hair. The whole thing was like something out of a movie, like one of those embarrassing, guilty pleasure rom-coms that Charles said he hated watching but secretly enjoyed. All she could hope was that this was the beginning, not the end. 

"You can do this," he told her, tone firm, like he knew it was an uphill battle to convince her. "If you need help, text me and I'll ditch the Shell corporate thingy. Will be boring without you anyway. But right now I can't feel my fingers, so if you could let go before they fall off that would be good."