Blood of the Trinity

Failure

Priest had healed, had fed and was staring at the massacre that had happened around him. He had failed. He knew he had. He had participated to heal and to satisfy the Thirst. His maker approached him and studied Priest.
"I thought I could...," Priest started, trailing off when the words eluded him.
"I told you she wouldn't want to talk," Pearce sighed. Priest didn't say anything. He stared at the dead nun before him, the all too human emotion amplified by his knowledge of his failure.
"I did this," Priest whispered.
"No, you didn't do this. You gave her a choice. She made her choice," Pearce stated.
"I still did this. I should have let you find her," Priest mumbled.
"She wouldn't have even considered her options if it were from me," Pearce said. Priest was silent and Pearce was surprised when Priest didn't begin praying. "You aren't praying," Pearce commented.
"I don't think God will answer my prayers anymore," Priest stated.
"Aren't you supposed to pray to God during times of despair?" Pearce questioned.
"When you think He has abandoned you, it's not true. So my paraphrasing of the Bible says," Priest sighed.
"You don't seem convinced by that," Pearce said.
"God wasn't the faith I originally grew up in," Priest told Pearce. Pearce blinked and then took a seat, curious now.
"What faith did you grow up in then?" Pearce asked.
"I was born in a pagan household. My parents and family are all from generations of witches. We went to the Vatican to make sure we wouldn't be suspected of being... heathens. It didn't matter. We were discovered. The Vatican is different from the rest of Italy. They are their own city, state and law. So they arrested my family and me and held us. No one confessed, but they still somehow knew. The priests there gave me an option. I would join the Catholic Church, save my soul before it became corrupt and in the end save the souls of my family from Hell. And then they burned my family at the stake. If I didn't join the Catholic Church, I would join my family. I joined the Catholic Church, hoping for years I was saving the souls of my family from something none of us believed in. I failed my family and I failed this church," Priest whispered.
"Priest, you didn't know what she was going to choose. This isn't your fault," Pearce said as silent tears began to fall from Priest's eyes.
"I couldn't save them. I even killed some of them. No wonder God never answered me. I was never one of his children," Priest managed to say. Pearce pulled Priest close to him, surprising Priest at first. The tears returned though and Priest held Pearce tightly, doing his best to stifle the sobs. Pearce let Priest cry, feeling a twinge of guilt himself.
He had forced The Change on Priest. Priest had apparently had no choices of his own since he was a child and had been trying desperately to follow something he didn't fully believe in to save the souls of his family after he had watched them burn.
"I'm sorry Priest. When we find her again, there won't be this as the alternative," Pearce told Priest when he was calm, his breathing only shaking slightly.
"It doesn't matter does it?" Priest questioned quietly.
"Does it matter to you?" Pearce countered. Priest nodded with confirmation. "Then it matters," Pearce stated as he released Priest. Priest wiped his face from the drying tears and snot, mumbling an apology. "Don't worry about my shirt, I can get a new one," Pearce said. Priest was silent as he studied Pearce.
"Thank you," Priest cautiously said.
"You're welcome," Pearce responded as he stood up and walked away. Priest studied his body filled surroundings and decided to give them their Last Rites. He knew God might not listen, but he didn't want to leave them without the courtesy of not giving them their Last Rites.
Priest went to each body, gave them their Last Rites and then followed Pearce and Allison out of the church. Joseph, the newest member of their odd group followed them at a distance when they returned to their new place. Priest felt the exhaustion creeping up on him just as they entered their new place. He slowly made his way to the room he had made his own and collapsed on the bed, struggling to stay awake.
He wanted to see the sunrise. He was beginning to forget what it looked like. He couldn't fight the sleep though and was unable to see the sunrise.
Pearce brought a sleeping Joseph inside and checked on Priest when he closed the curtains to Joseph's room. Priest was asleep as well. Pearce shut the curtains and looked at Allison when she entered Priest's room. She was studying Priest with a sympathetic expression.
"You heard him," Pearce commented. Allison nodded with confirmation.
"What should we do?" Allison questioned.
"I take it you mean about Priest and not the now wanted Vampire on the run," Pearce commented. Allison nodded as a reply. Pearce was silent, waiting for Allison to make her suggestion.
"Should we take him out of his misery?" Allison inquired.
"What good will it do if there's an afterlife? Killing him may put him in eternal misery if there is an afterlife," Pearce said. Allison looked at Pearce.
"So we keep him alive? If there isn't an afterlife, won't he be in eternal misery by us letting him live?" Allison questioned.
"Perhaps. Perhaps he'll find something to give him comfort. Perhaps not. Letting him live will either help him find comfort or keep him in misery. We won't know by killing him," Pearce informed Allison with a pointed gaze. "He reminds me of you when I found you. Lost, miserable and somehow still hopeful that something good would happen," Pearce said.
"That was a long time ago," Allison stated.
"In the end, you found comfort," Pearce continued. "Peace of mind and all that joy," Pearce commented. "Would you like to know something though?" Pearce asked Allison.
"What's that?" Allison questioned.
"When I discovered you and took you in, I asked myself the same question about you that you just asked me about Priest," Pearce confessed. "He might find peace of mind like you eventually did. The most we can do right now is do what I did for you," Pearce sighed.
"Be there for him," Allison finished. Pearce nodded with confirmation.
"Let's hope he doesn't think he failed again," Pearce mumbled. Allison nodded with agreement and then they left Priest's room after Allison put the blankets over his sleeping form. Allison looked up and saw that Pearce was gone. She blinked and searched for Pearce. He was nowhere to be found and Allison was tired. She entered her room and gave into the sleep.
Pearce heard their quiet heartbeats as he sat in the small room they had set aside for Priest to pray in. Pearce had never once prayed to any higher power or had a conversation with a symbol of a higher power. He studied the cross with Jesus of Nazareth on it.
"I have a feeling that your dad isn't going to listen to me, but I need to vent. I can't help but wonder if you really had to do that to Priest. Or maybe you didn't care what happened to him. No matter, you made him believe he failed you and his family. No God should be that cruel to someone who tried to believe in them and change for the sake of their dead family. Maybe you get off on it or something. I don't know, I don't care for your answer. Not when it comes to that. Priest I know would love to know that you're still around and he didn't fail. Because he didn't fail you or his family or anyone of us. Growing up in a pagan household doesn't mean you have to punish him when he's still trying to believe in you. You, who he wasn't even raised to believe in. If anyone failed him, it's you. You, your son and even me," Pearce snarled. "I can confess to that, but you're even more silent than I am when it comes to your wrongs. No God I've heard of in the history of deities is as jealous or silent as a god who pretends to be perfect like you. I bet if you were here, letting me speak the way I am, you would put me in Hell, wouldn't you?" Pearce spat. "There is nothing worse than eternity. The rest of the Vampires are able to be killed. I can't. I'm unable to remain dead. So if you're going to punish me for my wrongs, you'll have to find something worse than eternity," Pearce hissed. He was silent, glaring at the cross.
"After all, what's worse than living with every failure you've done for eternity knowing that unlike the other Vampires you will never find peace of mind. And I've tried. I've taken in two who aren't my own. One who has called me her maker because she believed herself a lost cause and I helped. And it still didn't give me peace. I am the reason Joseph is a Vampire, yet I still took him in. And I won't find peace with that in my mind," Pearce said. "Speaking to you isn't even giving me peace. I thought that was something you did," Pearce growled. He went silent and stared at the cross. After some time, Pearce left, still with the knowledge that he had failed his promise to Joseph, that he had failed Priest by having to kill everyone in that church and that he had failed himself.
He went to the window and watched the sun in the sky. He wasn't sure who to be angry at. God or himself. God had never been there for him, so he couldn't be angry at God simply because God had never been there for him. He could only be angry at himself.
Pearce glared at the sun, an animalistic growl sounding in the back of his throat. He let the fury spill over and broke the window. The wounds healed, which infuriated Pearce more and with a snarl, Pearce began to destroy the lower floor of the place. He was the one who had failed. Not God, not Allison or Joseph and not even Priest. Pearce only had himself to blame. And it was a harsh truth that he had an eternity to live with.