Armored

11

Once the papers and shit were finalized, Martha sent Rosie and I up to our room and had us go pack our stuff to go with the four hooligans  to start our "brand new life." Ugh what a fucking moronic excuse of a day ✨yay✨.

Don't get me wrong now it's not that I hated the idea of having a family again, I was just scared of what would happen if I let me guard down. I couldn't afford to do that if I knew this would end badly. But I didn't know, and I hated  the thought of not knowing. Not knowing shit got me this far in life, so sue me if I'm not a huge fan of 'just going with the flow.' I was anxious and scared, but there was no way I was going to open up to a group of men I just met. I'm not letting myself get hurt again, so I'm just waiting for the rug to be pulled from under me. I had a gut feeling that maybe this just might turn out to be okay, and I hated that. I needed a reason to hate them and be miserable. I can't lose any more people in my life, I just couldn't bring myself to even fathom the idea of being happy and feeling safe. But whatever, let's just get this shit show over with.

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Ashton:

"She's not as angry as she seems. She's afraid of losing something good, so she pushes everyone and everything away. She's mad at the world for throwing everything it has onto her, it's just how she copes," Mrs. Johnson explained to us as the girls went up to get their stuff and Calum filled out the last of the paperwork.

"Speaking of how she copes, there's a few things in her files I should go over with you all."

We all nodded for her to proceed.

"You see, Izzy isn't the best when it comes to appropriately handling emotions so she's very impulsive, which can be dangerous more often than not. She has quite the temper if you couldn't already tell. She's very standoffish when she's scared of getting too close. She's extremely stubborn and won't ask for help. Now, discipline is another story.

See, there's a very delicate art to handling disciplining Izzy specifically. Rosie is fine, you give her a time out she pouts you give a her a gentle talk and hug and she's good. Izzy, however, she's a tough nut to crack. She's used to being the authority figure in her life so she won't take anything you say seriously. She will fight you in everything you say, she's gong to be mad for no reason, she'll yell and scream and say every horrible mean thing she can think of and it's going to hurt like hell to hear, but you let her. You'll set rules and boundaries, she likely won't care for them. She's very much used to being on her own, so don't take anything she says or does personally. She's a sweet kid, she really is, she's just scared and to hide that she acts out. She'll try to run when things get hard, she doesn't know how to handle her emotions so when she gets upset she'll either pick a fight or have a mental breakdown. She kicks she screams she does everything to push people away, but you can't do that to her. No matter how much she says she hates you or doesn't want to live with you, you have to know that under all that tough rebel girl attitude lies a very fragile girl. She's scared of being happy because it's been so long since she's had stability in her life. It will absolutely destroy her if you guys turn your backs on them. She's really fragile and there's not much more heartache her little heart can handle.

Having said all this, I want to make sure you guys are certain you want both girls because they are a package deal and they both come with their own sets of traumas and challenges. So I am asking you all this one more time before I continue, are you absolutely certain you are willing to give these girls the life they truly deserve?"

A round of yeahs and nods of acknowledgments went around the room as mrs. Johnson got the last of the papers set up for us to sign off on, such as our joint custody of the girls and written acknowledgments that we had all collectively agreed to have Calum assume the position of primary guardian.