Babysitting the Bad Boy's Little Sister

52

"...and then we can color," Beth mumbled giddily as she and Sam entered the living room.

I was lying on the couch on my phone after dinner, and Bee suddenly noticed, running toward me and jumping into my lap.

"Will you draw me pictures to color?" She looks up to me and I can't say no to that face.

"Of course," I grin. "Go get some paper and markers."

She clambers off my lap, running upstairs, and I lift my phone back into view. Sam sits down next to my feet, and I'm painfully aware of his presence, to the point where I can't focus on the screen. I set my phone down and sit up, looking to him. He was looking at me intently, crossing his arms.

"What?" I ask, subconsciously bringing my hands to my mouth to see if anything was on my face.

"Nothing. Just looking," he smiles, turning away.

"Oh." We sit in silence for what feels like forever, and I can't stop fidgeting. I wring my hands together, attempting to calm the nerves that have suddenly hit me, while stealing a glance to see that he was doing the exact same. He looks away, chuckling quietly and running his fingers through his hair, and I sit back and take a deep breath. What is happening?

"Katie, can I talk to you? Later?" He blurts, and I feel heat rising to my cheeks.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," I'm saved by the toddler running into the room with the crafts. She's grinning like a maniac as she hands me the sketchbook.

"I want a pony," she says gleefully. "Please."

"Yes, ma'am," I salute her jokingly before looking to Sam, who has what looks like a blush on his cheeks. "I can't focus without a movie, though. So, find something good."

"Okay," she grasps the remote with fumbling fingers, and scrolls through the TV while I sketch out some ponies for her to color. She ends up choosing My Little Pony to watch while she colors, and I hand her the art and leave her to it.

I glance at Sam, who is still staring at me. It's beginning to make me blush uncontrollably. I remember back to when we cuddled on this couch, and being this far from him felt weird. Maybe, if we hadn't been... whatever we were, things would feel the same. But right now, the air was heavy with unresolved issues. And I didn't know what I was going to do. What was he going to tell me?

I space in and out of reality several times, staring mindlessly to the TV until Beth seems thoroughly satisfied with her crafts and is ready to go to bed.

"I'll put her down," Sam stands up quickly.

"Yay!" Beth sleepily cheers as she lays across the coffee table, and I can't help but giggle.

"Sounds good," I smile to him, and he maintains his stare for a moment before picking his sister up and carrying her upstairs.

Suddenly, it's uncomfortably quiet. I begin to fidget and eventually stand up, beginning to pace. About ten minutes later, I hear steps coming down the stairs, and I quickly sit down, trying to look like I'm not entirely panicking for no reason.

"She's out like a light," he sighs. "I barely finished the book I was reading."

"I'm surprised, it wasn't a very active day," I say, thankful for the mundane conversation. It's quiet again for a moment before he decides to make a move.

"So, how's Eli?"

"Uh, he's okay. I'm guessing good." What the hell kind of question is that?

"You don't know? You haven't talked to him?" He's leaning against the back of the couch as I'm turned to look at him and I can't help but notice the weird tension in his voice.

"We're going through a rough patch. I don't know what to say to him."

"I saw him tonight. He was drunk, and he mentioned how I needed to stay away from you because I was making you unhappy. Is that true?"

Goddamnit. 

"No, of course not. I just... everything has been so confusing lately. And Eli is being so weird because I hang out with you, and so I haven't been spending much time with him and everyone else-"

"I think, maybe, we shouldn't see each other, then," he interrupts me, and I go quiet. 

"What?" I whisper.

"I just, I've driven you away from your friends and into so much drama. I don't want to do that to you anymore."

I turn away from him, staring at the coffee table that's sprawled with crayons, unable to say anything. I don't know what I'd say if I could get words out.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kate. I want you to be happy, and I feel like your life has just been more confusing and painful because of me. I've thought about it a lot, and every problem seems to stem back to me."

"That's not true." It was true, in a sense, but it was all things I brought onto myself for not being able to control a situation properly. He didn't purposefully do anything. I can't believe he's even saying this. I turn back to look at him, and he's showing no emotion whatsoever.

"It is, Kate. I don't want to keep doing this to you." He steps back from the couch, and begins to head upstairs. "I'm sorry."

What the fuck just happened?

I feel tears begin to sting my eyes, but they refuse to fall, just welling up in my eyes until I can't see anymore. I feel like I can't breathe, and I figure I need to just distract my mind and clean the living room up and go to sleep. Maybe this was all just a bad dream.

I gently sort the art supplies into their proper places in the kit, treating each marker and piece of paper as gently as possible, as if they could feel. I turn the TV and the lights off, and head upstairs, setting the art supplies in Beth's room quietly. She was sleeping peacefully, hugging several stuffed animals. I smiled, wiping the tears that had fallen to my cheeks. I walk past Sam's closed door, feeling sick, and quickly scurry into the guest bedroom, closing the door as quietly as possible. I had been holding my breath, and I only notice when my lungs are burning. I sigh quietly, which releases the tension in my chest, and the tears begin to flow.

Shit.

// wow guys, i am so beyond sorry for such a long wait, i just could NOT figure out how i was going to piece together what i wanted to!!!! thanks for the 40k reads, i love u all so so much <3 expect more from me soon. winter is such a rough time and i was working on fitting into a new job so its all figuring itself out. thx for reading and don't forget to vote if u liked this :) it's gonna get worse before it gets better but i think we are at one of our last twists!! its been a long time coming, but i feel an ending coming on.... who knows ....