THIS GIRL

10|

"Hey." "Hey." Ryan says sitting across from me in the hall. "What are you going to do today?" he says. "I don't know, why?" "Don't want to be home, kinda want to go to the skate park or something." "Won't your hand or head be an issue?" "I don't care. Can't stand being home with my sister breathing down my neck acting like I'm a wounded puppy." He says fiddling with the stitch points on his knuckle."I'm sure she just cares." I say.

"She wants to meet you.""Really?" "I told her you probably wouldn't want to," "I do. I'll do it." I say almost instantly regretting it. I've met her before just never said anything more than a "Hi." She tall and average weight, I remember she always had long fake nails plastered over her natural ones. She's quite intimidating and I'm not looking forward to this.

"After school tomorrow, come over." He says. "Okay."

***

"What are you doing?" I say. "Swinging." Calla says. She's on her front lawns tree swing.

"You never told me about your date." I say plopping myself on the ground. "I went on two more dates with him, actually. He's super nice and funny and tall and cute. I like him, it's weird though cause I don't think he likes me." She says stopping herself from rambling on. "If he willingly went on more than one date with you I'm pretty sure he likes you, Calla." "Maybe you're right." She says.

"I hope I get to meet this guy soon." "You've met him already, I'm going to see him tomorrow," "Hold on a sec Cal, I really have to pee. I'll be right back." I say running across the street, into my bathroom. I forgot I had to go on the way home and felt the sudden urge come over me.

"Your phone rang, like, four times while you were gone." Calla says as I'm crossing the street back over to her house.

It was Ryan, I called him back right away since he hardly calls and never that often.

I don't even get a chance to say anything "607 T street, in the backyard, bring a towel." He says and hangs up the phone.

"I have to go Cal I'll talk to you later?" "Where you going?" "To Ryan somewhere on T street, I don't know."

I'm rummaging through my backpack for my keys. "I'm going with you." She says. "Okay."

"Where's T street, where's T street, oh my God I forgot the towel. Calla give me your shirt. You always have like ten tank tops on anyways." Words vomit out of my mouth, I can't think one thought at a time. Why does he need a towel? Why is he in a backyard somewhere on freaking T street, I don't even know where T street is!

"Calm down it's right there." Calla says after directing me through her phones gps.

"Something with a six, something with a six. I don't remember the number." "Just pull over." Calla says.

We both jump out of the car when we see Ryan sitting against a house. The house is best up and abandoned.

Ryan is shirtless and his shirt is wrapped around his hand. I just know what that means. His stitches.

"What happened? Are you okay?" I see blood seeping slightly through the shirt. "Get him up, let's take him to the hospital or something."

I know Calla just said what to do but my mind keeps thinking, what do I do? What do I do?

"What were you doing anyways?" I say sitting next to him for a second because I feel queezy enough to pass out. I hate blood. It's not that much blood but I have to sit. "There's an empty pool back there, I was skating it and yeah, something happened and they all opened." He says almost ashamed.

"Well let's go." Calla says. She has one of her shirts in her hand and starts to unravel his hand from the shirt it's currently wrapped in. It's really not too bloody, but I can't do it.

"Your board? Is it in the backyard?" "Yeah but," "I'll go get it."

I run quickly into the backyard jump in the empty pool to grab one half the board. What did he do? The other half of the board on the dried out grass near the pool.

I'm holding both pieces of a once whole thing in my hands. "When you said you were going to a skate park after school I thought you meant a legit one." I say angrily. " Sorry."

"Where do I go? Which doctor?" I make sure everyone is in the car and drive in no particular direction. "There's a hospital down the block, I saw it on the way." Calla says. "No, just take me to my house. My sisters boyfriend is a nurse. It's not that bad anyways."

The car ride to his house was long, it was only twenty minutes it felt like hours. I didn't hear a word either of them said if they said any.

My body is so tense, my legs starting to cramp. My fingers tingling. My heart beating in every joint in my body.

We get to Ryan's place, I hop out of the car and help Ryan out. "I know my way home, I'm going to walk. See you tomorrow Ryan." Calla turns to me wide eyed. " And you too Em, like, together or whatever." She mouths "Sorry" to Ryan and quickly walks away.

I look at Ryan, he's looking straight into my eyes. "I know there's something going on between both of you. I'm going to ignore it, whatever that may be." I say.

"Why don't you care?" Ryan says. "About?" "I've slipped up talking about her before and you haven't even asked me about it." I notice him starting to tower over me as if I'm the one who should be questioned right now. "It's none of my business."

"I've been taking night classes at the college and I have one with her. You know she's trying to get ahead, well I'm trying to graduate this year." "Did you do it because of me? To graduate with me?" "No, I didn't do it because of you. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know that right? And if I did do it for you, what's so bad about that?" "I don't want to talk about this." I say. "I have problems too. You try having parents that don't care about you who ship you off somewhere you don't want to go. You try moving out with your sister and interrupting her relationship. You try telling someone you're in love with them and getting nothing back for days. Not even hope that she likes you back. I signed up for college classes and classes during lunch to graduate early. I don't want to be here as much as you don't." I have no words.

I get back into my car and freeze. I don't know what to do or what to say. Do I get out of the car? I can't. Do I apologize? I have to. Now? I can't.

My head is hanging over the steering wheel for I don't know how long. "Are you coming in?" Ryan's sister says through the window vaguely audible. I roll it down. "I can't, I have to go."
"Ryan said you agreed to meet me." In the two seconds we've been here he told you? "I have to go, I can come back another day." I say.

"Listen, the kid tore up his hand and has a huge bruise on his face because of you, the least you could do is give me the chance to see if you were worth it." She says pulling out a piece of gum from her pocket.

I'm bracing myself for whatever is about to happen. Breathe.

I get out of the car and try to not gag from the stress.

I've forgotten how to breathe, no air coming in only out. My knees burning from the pressure I'm putting to try to keep my balance.

I walk in the front door and Ryan's eyes dart onto me instantly. He's sitting on the couch while getting stitched back up but his eyes don't leave me even as his sister is interrogating me.

"How old are you?" "Almost eighteen." "What are your grades like?" "Decent." "Have you gotten into any colleges?" "I just sent in my applications." But honestly I don't know if I want to go. "What do you want to major in?" She asks. "I don't know." That's why.

"Your parents, they married?" "My dads widowed." "What does he do?" "He's a realtor."
"I think that's enough questions Ann." Her boyfriend says. Later I learned it was her fiancé.

"I'm not done. Do you have siblings?" "No." She acts as if she ever saw anyone else walking around our house when she was our neighbor. "That means your a spoiled little girl doesn't it?" "Of course." I say just to piss her off.

She smiles. "I think I like you. I'd never take a hit for you like this dumb ass but that's his prerogative." I hate that she keeps saying it as if I made him smash in the guys window, or as if I sent the guys to jump him. Or as if I wanted him to get hurt.