HURT FOR ME

Chapter Sixteen - Abandonment

"Being abandoned or given up is the most devastating emotion we can cause in another human being."

‒ Gary David Currie

Olivia Bennett

It's been six days since Aaron and I talked. We haven't seen each other because he's been off on a business trip, and I don't want to see him anyway. I've had time to think about how I feel about the conversation we had nearly a week ago but I haven't come up with anything yet.

No one knows Aaron was the person driving the car during the accident. I've been cooped up in my room, trying to wrap my mind around what he called me. It was just a nickname but I had no memory of anyone calling me that aside from the man at the accident. I've dug deep into my memories, attempting to remember anything about him but I can't.

The ding of the elevator rips me out of my thoughts and off of my bed. I slowly turned the lock on the door and rested my back against it, hoping Aaron wouldn't even try. After a few moments, I hear a few bags being put down and then I feel the turning of my doorknob. Another beat and a knock sounds from the other side.

"Olivia?" God, how I've missed his voice. The way my name sounds so differently rolling off of his tongue. I couldn't ignore my feelings for him, no matter how upset I was with him. It took every ounce of self-control to not unlock the door and jump into his arms. One more knock and a few seconds of silence pass by until he walks away.

My legs involuntarily gave in as my body slid down the door. I was angry and sad. I wanted to bury myself in his warmth and familiarity but I couldn't. Although the part of me that urged to know who that man was and why Aaron felt so far from a stranger got its fix, another part of me was hurt and confused.

Why didn't he just tell me? Why didn't he try and remind me who he was? I married a man who I thought just wanted to help me get my life back on track but he was the person who put me in this position. I let a few tears fall before swiping them away and standing from the door.

I couldn't hide in here forever like a hibernating bear so I turned the lock, pulled the door open, and paced to the kitchen to find a drunken Aaron. The dark circles that were prominent around his eyes and the way his body swayed back and forth as he gripped the counter were more than enough of a reason to assume he'd drank far too much.

His eyes immediately found mine as I made it around the corner. A look of desperation washed over his face before he dropped his head between his shoulders. My heart pained with an ache as I watched him stand there, barely balancing on his own two feet. I stood on the other side of the island, observing him.

"You look terrible," That wasn't the truth. Even in this drunken state, he looked just as handsome as he usually does when he's put together and clean.

A low chuckle fell from his lips as he lifted his head slightly, "I feel terrible," I grabbed a glass from the cabinet under the island and poured him some water. I slid the glass across the countertop and studied his face as he gulped it down.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I tried to bite my tongue and not start this conversation right now but I couldn't restrain myself any longer. I needed to know. It's been a week of me holding back everything I want to say to him, partly because he hasn't been here but also because I've maintained my self-control but that blew right out of the open window as I stood in front of him.

"Tell you what?" I gripped the counter to hold back the anger I felt at his attempt to pretend he didn't know what we were talking about.

"That you were there, that you were the one behind the wheel." My words came out a lot harsher than I intended.

"Oh, and what did you want me to say?" He pushed off of the counter, standing straight. "Olivia, I was the man who wrecked the car and put you in the hospital where you'd fall into a two-year coma and lose every memory you'd ever had with me." There was a sound of sadness in his voice. Sadness, regret, guilt, I wasn't sure.

I nodded my head, "You could have said anything." I knew it wasn't exactly the ideal way to approach someone who forgot about you but pretending to not know them, living with them, treating them like they're new to you? I've mentally stressed myself out since being discharged because I wanted to know who that man was and now I do.

"I was stuck in the hospital for two years, Aaron." I took a breath and closed my eyes, holding back the tears. "Did you even come to visit me?" I felt stupid asking him that question. Why did I even care?

"I know that, Olivia. Why do you think I'm here now?" I scoffed at his statement.

"You're here now?" The anger was clear in my voice. "What about then? When I was lying in a hospital bed, alone and afraid."

He shook his head before dropping it between his shoulders again, "You weren't alone." I narrowed my eyes at him waiting for him to continue. "Your parents were there." My hands were white now from how tightly I was gripping the edge of the counter.

"Oh, yeah, the people who care so much about me." I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. "The people who allowed me to be raped every night because they were too afraid to stand up to my fucking rapist." A small tear glided down my cheek as I closed my eyes, washing away those shameful feelings.

His hand slammed against the countertop causing my entire body to flinch, "I left you there too, Olivia!" His voice was much louder and stronger. "You cried to me every night because of what he was doing to you and I allowed it to happen. I didn't do a fucking thing to stop him from touching you the same way your parents didn't!" An exasperated breath fell from his lips as he finished yelling.

My chest ached as I took an unbalanced step back, trying to take in everything he said. My parents abandoned me, and Aaron did the exact same thing. They left me to fend for myself in that house with him. I abandoned my little sister the same way I was abandoned because I, too, was afraid of him.