Wrecked [Johnny Depp]

The band of misfits.

We loaded all the equipment in the van, weird, I never had to do this with Johnny,probably because he had people to do that for him. But I didn't have all the money in the world to squander like that, just this 2.7 million Johnny gave and some money I had saved up, which makes it 3 million in total.

It was all loaded and we all took our seats in the rather fancy van, it was no limo but it'll do. I guess I had been spoiled when it comes to my music career, everything was spoon fed to me and now I had to figure everything out by myself from scratch. It was hard work, but we got the job done.

We were on our way to North Carolina to do our first show, we played our first song and we each had solos, I didn't wanna be greedy and steal the spotlight. They were new and I wanted to make everything equal.

Our first band practice went amazing, after the first trial test I decided they were worth paying, they were hardworking and as dedicated as I was. I lived for their energy but now they had to rock like me and live like me. I wanted them to experience life like Johnny showed me, the amazing life that they would love.

We reached backstage and we huddled in for a small pep talk.

"We can do this guys, but first. I need you all to show me that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be awesome", I revealed a bag of cocaine making all their eyes grow wide. All of their eyes and smiles said yes, so we went to town.

...
..
.

"That was fucking awesome!!" Yelled Joey.

Everyone felt hyped and happy, excited and reffed up!
I loved it!

"Come on guys, we won't end this right without a little something something", I smiled and pulled out a rolled up joint.

Lee smiled wildly and was the first one to grab it.
When Joey saw my bag of drugs and substances he looked worried.

"Woah, Johanna. Since when do you do all these drugs?" He asked, peering into my leather bag.

"Well you know it's tour and-"

"I'm starting to worry about you, seriously. Are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I wasn't, what he asked me brought back all the reasons I had started all these dangerous drugs. I tried justifying all of them, but my brain shut down and my emotions overflowed. Then I thought if Johnny and all those amazing nights we had, and how taking these drugs without him just didn't feel the same.

I rushed out of the room to catch some air, as soon as I was alone I began crying uncontrollably. How pathetic, I tried replacing my feelings with emotionless drugs that wouldn't benefit me at all. Just destroy me.

I would blame Johnny for what happened to me, but Johnny isn't the one forcing me to take it, he isn't even here. I miss him so much, how will I pretend everything is okay and pretend to go on when we had absolutely no closure, no explanation and no proper goodbye. He shoved me in a limo and that was the last I saw of him, the last touch, the last smile and the last time he made me laugh.

I miss him so much, I'm a mess without him. I'm drowning myself in meaningless drugs, alcohol and attention. I love the guys and they make me happy but it's just not the happiness I'm looking for, that happiness is long gone, forgotten and will never be seen again.

Why did he have to do that? Why couldn't he just explain to me that it was our last night together? I will never know the answer now.

The door swung open and it was Joey, he looked concerned and rushed over to me, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I'll never question you like that again", he promised, rubbing my back as I cried in his arms.

His embrace was warm and a little less lonely, I was glad he was here, making sure I was okay.

"No, it's okay. You have a right to have questions. It's just, being on tour with famous people can change you, they make you want to live crazier", I explained, laying my head on his chest.

"Did they make you do anything uncomfortable? If they did you can sue them", he said, holding me by my shoulders. He was really truly worried.

"No no no, nothing like that. Johnny always made sure I was safe and comfortable", I defended.

"Okay, then what is making you feel like this?" He asked, looking at me sincerely.

"I miss Johnny Depp and I want him in my life again. Or at least some closure", I said, wiping away my tears.

"That's understandable, you have to go to him, Johanna. We'll go with you but you have to do this or you'll never be at peace with this guy", he suggested.

What he said made me have anxiety, how can I just show up at Johnny Depp's house like a creep? After he clearly told me it's the last time we'll be together. But he's right, I need closure before I go insane.

"Okay, I'll go. Will you be by my side?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"Always", he answered, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Thank you, Joey", I said, smiling and giving him the biggest hug I ever gave him.

We went back inside to explain everything to the rest of the boys.