It's Always The Quiet Ones

Thanks, i feel terrifying

************************************

I open my eyes and instantly regret it when a flood of light invades my vision.

It's morning and my curtains are open, I probably forgot to close them yesterday.

I walk over to close my curtains and my head feels like a truckload of weight suddenly comes crashing down on it. Damn, migraines. I cuss as I head to my bathroom and grab my bottle of pills behind the mirror. I put them in my mouth, catching a glimpse of my reflection.

I look horrible, it seems my cheeks which are usually sunken, look like they were drained of all their life.

School is going to be great today.

I head out of my room and there is no sign of my mum. I go down the stairs and in the kitchen, my housekeeper, Aunty Amina is there. Before she sees me, I quickly turn around and pinch my cheeks, knowing from experience how she'd react if she saw me this pale.

"Omo mi, bawoni?", She notices me (my child, how are you?)

"I'm good ma'am" I answer back.
I face her and plaster one of the most impressive fake smiles on my face.

"Kilen se?" I ask her (what're you cooking?)

"Ehn, Tuna sandwich and freshly squeezed orange juice," she says, her accent so thick it's obvious she's African.

Even though we relocated to the united states, my mom still has this knack for everything Nigerian and she was lucky enough to get someone who could meet her wants.

"Yay, fish"

"So ti we?" She ignores my sarcasm (have you showered?)

"Yup," I say as I grab my book bag from the dining table and roughly stuff my books into it.

"You know if you arrange those books, they'd fit abi?"

I give her a playful smile and grab the lunch she made me from her hands.

"Bye Aunty, love you"

"Odabo" (bye)

She's the only person keeping me from stealing all my mom's money and running away. I wouldn't even feel guilty, Mom doesn't deserve most of it in the first place.

I observe the road as I step into my dad's old G wagon and throw my bag onto the passenger seat, all these years and I still hope that he drives back up the pathway like he used to. That he truly hasn't left me.

I turn on Lovely by Billy Eilish and pull out of the driveway.
It's a short drive because the school is only a few minutes away.

I step out of my car, the hem of my baggy jeans almost sweeping the ground over my boots. I grab my book bag and fix my huge stranger things t-shirt. I lock my car and let out a sigh as I walk into the school.

Always looking forward to my favorite pass time, walking through the halls of a building filled with teenagers.

I walk over to my locker and as usual, Darren is there waiting for me.

"Hey Tamilore" he singsongs.

"I've told you several times, it's Tammy" I roll my eyes playfully.

"You look terrifying"

"Thanks, I feel terrifying"

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"Does mint count?"

"Tamilore Carter, you have got to be kidding me" he stares down at me.

"I think you would be laughing if I
was"