The Twelve Letters | Hermitcraft/Empires AU

July 15th + 31st - Letter Seven

July 15th

I kind of got a bit upset when writing the last letter. I guess something about the letter itself made me want to break everything but hey, life is just like that. It's a mess in a pile. A large pile. And you have to clean it up. Once you finish cleaning it up, you can keep continuing with another thing.

Maybe that made sense to you Jimmy?

Basically, life place problems in your way, and you have to take time to get rid of them. I guess that's grief. You need to take time to get over it. And once you get over the grief, it stays there, but you know that it might come back. Problems don't always go away, I've realised.

At least I'm finding a way to cope with this situation, Jimmy. These letters are repeating the same thing over and over again. That's probably not a good thing. Then again, grieving like this (with the letters and such) isn't a good thing either. I should be going out more instead of staying inside. I should be socialising with everyone else instead of keeping myself away from everyone. I don't know what to do, Jimmy. There's days where I actually can't get up and do my own shit. I have to get encouragement from other people to do it.

I guess I'm a problem myself with the way I'm grieving. Maybe I should force myself to start planning my mega base. I need to do something with my life instead of staying inside. And writing these letters. I shouldn't be doing this.

I should probably unmute my communicator as well. I muted it after my few breakdowns.

Checking my communicator right now (I just unmuted it. Just to let you know, Jimmy) and Grian sent me so many messages. Here, I'll write some of them now:

'Grian whispers to you: Hey Tango, you doing well? Haven't heard from you in a while.'
'Grian whispers to you: Pal? What's happened?'
"Grian whispers to you: Tango?'

I should respond to him.

I really should.

I can't.

July 31st

Okay. Continuing this letter.

Might I mention that on the 15th, I was starting to cry a lot, and couldn't breathe. Grian actually came to my (our) base, and helped me calm down.

Again.

So I started planning my mega base. I'm thinking of maybe having another fortress, or perhaps another tower. It's really difficult to decide. Maybe I'll do combinations of both. Or I could also do some terraforming. I think I've shown you some photographs of Grian's mega base from season eight of Hermitcraft (before our groups merged)?

It's really difficult to decide. I'll probably keep planning even more.

Oh, and a few days ago I went to see one of your friends base, Joel. He's an incredible builder. He finished his starter base, and it's so detailed. He showed me his mega base plan as well. He wants to have a mix of both of his bases (or empire, as he says) from seasons one and two of Empires. It's really cool, trust me.

I also went to visit Impulse, who has already started on his mega base! He seemed excited to talk about it, and I must say, it was actually awesome. He didn't tell me the whole plan, but he told me he wanted to have his base connected from land to the ocean. So it's like a ocean and land base. If that makes sense? I'm not sure.

I've been feeling better from everything that has happened. I think.

I mean, my mind has been more kinder to me than before. I haven't really stayed inside after my last breakdown, which was sixteen days ago.

There's one thing, though. I can't go into your room yet. I've still been passing the letters under your room's door. I don't read them. I just finish them and go to your room to pass them under.

I guess it's a new habit? Or, as I said, it's my way of coping. Grief can be shared in weird ways, I guess. Letter writing to someone? Pathetic.

Yeah, pathetic. I really want you to come back. Maybe they can bring you back, I just have to convince them.

I have to convince them to bring you back.

I'll try doing that soon.

They have to.