Through The Flames

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕤𝕟'𝕥

✦•┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯❁⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈•✦

When I wake up the next morning, it's because of Aida poking my mouth with her finger.

My eyes open and I look down at her with a small smile.

This whole thing feels...surreal.

When I first saw her and read the note I wanted to run for the hills and never come back.

That was my first instinct and I hate it. Even after the crash, I still couldn't process it at all. It was like my brain was glitching.

I knew I didn't want to leave or give her up but I let that fear of not being able to do it on my own, take over.

That's why I asked the doctor for the number of an adoption agency, even though I know that's not what I want.

If it wasn't for Ev shouting at me, I might have gone through with it.

I'd have let the anxiety take over and I would have given her up and convinced myself that was for the best but it isn't.

I know that now.

I've never been around babies except for Tia when I was two but after that, there's nothing.

Obviously on jobs I dealt with kids but it was never my strong suit, so my coworkers would deal with it instead.

Now, I have a daughter.

That's the weirdest sentence ever.

I spent days in the hospital trying to contact her mother but it's like she disappeared off the face of the earth.

I look down at Aida on my chest and she's smiling, I have a feeling she got that from my sister because I've never been the happiest person.

Everest will tell you that.

She can be a real pain in the ass, she always has been but she told me hard truths when I was in a hospital bed and she was right.

God I hate that.

But just like everyone else, she's got Aida wrapped around her finger.

She has that affect on people and it's infuriating. People just automatically like her and I've always been envious of it.

I work so hard to get people to understand that I'm not the worst human being in the world despite my reputation but she doesn't even have to try.