I wouldn't say that my relationship with Garroth has been perfect. It's almost been a year and a half, and I continue to learn something new everyday. Some different happens that the other isn't expected.
A new fight starts.
Insecurities crawled within me at the beginning of the school year. Garroth and Laurance spoke often about college and where they had been applying. I've looked over scholarship essays for both, but it never felt real to me.
Cadenza went to Meteli, but that doesn't feel real sometimes. It's only in the moments I want to run to her room only to find she isn't there that hurts most.
Garroth is going for a major in business, but I know his heart isn't in it. It's what his parents want for him, but he couldn't care less about a thing in business. He doesn't want that company.
He doesn't want the pressure.
Sometimes bugs would bite me from within when he'd mention something new. I was happy for him. All good girlfriends are. But as time as passed, the bugs have formed a family within me, willing to explode.
"What time tonight?"
He looks down at me, his eyebrows scrunching together. I've seen this expression far too many times to doubt if he is confused.
"For dinner?" I state, but it sounds more like a question. "Our date?"
His eyebrows don't relax. His entire face stresses. "That was tonight? Princess, I—"
"You forgot."
I shake my head, bringing my hands to my backpack straps, tightening my grip on them. My lips purse together in a tight line.
"Today is signing me over to play ball," Garroth says. His skin pales as he continues talking. "And my parents are taking me out later to celebrate with others. You were coming, weren't you? Laurance is."
I shake my head. He either actually forgot, or he got his dates mixed up. It's mid-March. Cadenza is coming home tonight for her spring break.
"I'll be at the signing," I say. "But I can't make it to dinner. I just remembered that Cadi was coming home today, so dinner would've had to be canceled anyway."
"You're upset." He frowns. He reaches out for my hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss.
"I'm fine," I lie. "I gotta get to class. I'll see you later."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
It's not often Cadenza comes home. She claims she's living the "college life" and it takes up her weekends. With it being the end of the school year, we're busy, so it's not as bad. Sometimes she comes to a game when we're against Meteli, so we see her then.
"Your phone lit up again. Are you sure you don't want to check?"
I shake my head at her. My fingers lace under a patch of her hair and interweave it into the braid I'm making. "It's just Garroth. He's fine."
"Just Garroth? Last year you were bat shit crazy for him." She turns her head towards me, making the braid fall from my hands. "Are you two in a fight? Do I have to yell at him?"
"Garroth and I aren't in a fight. And besides, I'm a junior now. If I can take the ACT and not ball my eyes out, then I can live in my relationship."
My phone screen lights up again before she reaches for my phone. A part of me wants to pull on her hair to reprimand her on her actions, but she's already counted how many text messages have been sent by the time I snatch my phone from her hands.
"Seven messages within the past ten minutes. He's practically a puppy for you, Al. He seems upset. You should fix this."
She doesn't get a response. By now we're face to face. My bottom lip juts out in a pout.
Dad breaks for my pout. Laurance gives in. Cadenza never has.
"I'm your big sister, and I just want what's best for you. I want you to be happy, and he seems to make you really happy."
"Cadi, I think my relationship is failing."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
"Vylad? It's late."
He looks at me through the window. Perhaps if It wasn't common for me to sneak from my window, I'd find this strange. The only strange part about this is how Vylad made it up the tree when he scolds me for not using the stairs.
"You weren't at dinner."
Blunt.
That's Vylad for you.
"Cadenza came home. Daddy was late from work, and Laurance was with you."
He shakes his head and leans forward to try and get in through my window. I motion for him to stop, saying I'll meet him down by the tree.
He climbed a tree. I don't need him to fall through the window.
Vylad does down the way he came up and nearly stumbles. When I see he's safe, I grab the throw blanket resting at the foot of my bed and put on my flats by the door.
He's already sitting at the tree by the time I get down.
"Look, if you're going to scold me for skipping—"
"I've decided I'm leaving Phoenix Drop."
I stop my sentence, finding it suddenly a loss of interest. He's mentioned this before, but it always comes out the same. We don't talk about it often unless it's been on his mind for too long.
An exhale comes from my nose, eyes closing for a moment. "You say this all the time," I tell him. He scoots over to the side, allowing for me to sit beside him.
I flip the blanket over us, causing our shoulders to brush up against each other. I won't mention my own problems with Vylad like this.
"This time I mean it," he says. The look in his eyes proves that he's serious about this, but it makes my stomach turn and flip. "After I finish school, I'm going to travel the world. I've been saving my allowance. One plane ticket and a few bucks can get you far in Europe."
I've always found it hard to disagree with him. So much so that I don't. I know he knows the idea scares me. That I don't like it.
"What about hotels? A trip back? For how long would you do this?"
"I'll figure that out as I go, and I'll travel for as long as I can. I don't want to come back to Phoenix Drop. You know why."
He said school. It could mean the end of college, or I'm saying au revoir to my best friend in a year.
We sit in silence, finding whatever is around us to take our eyes off of one another. I don't think I can look him in the eyes right now anyway.
My gaze is found on the leaves about. "You're really doing this, aren't you?"
"I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life."
