It's a year of firsts. Graduating. College applications. College acceptance letters. Adulthood. Standing in front of the fireplace with a camera in my father's hands.
I've never gone through a first day of school photo without someone by my side. The number started to decrease when Cadenza went to Meteli. Laurance and I were by ourselves. Laurance is in Phoenix Drop, but I'm by myself. In two hours dad will post a photo on Facebook like Zianna would, but I'll be standing by myself.
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"Did you ever realize just how many of our friends were older than us?"
Kandi shuts her locker. I didn't expect those to be one of the first things she said to me today. But after taking a brief look around the hallway, I realize she's right.
"Maybe we'll have to play friends with Aphmau," I comment, waiting for the obvious disgust that would become her reaction. "Otherwise there's, who, Travis? Even he's changed in four years."
The first day of freshman year, he cowered in the corner. Four years later he walks around the halls with confidence and head held high.
"Travis isn't bad."
I smile softly to her, shutting my own locker. In complete honesty, it feels weird. Laurance should be giving me shit about how it's the first day of school, and I'm worried about homework. Garroth should be scolding him for teasing.
I haven't really spoken to Garroth since our breakup.
"But he's without Dante. He's probably as lost as we are."
"We have my brother."
I shrug at this. Vylad rounds the corner of the hallway. Our relationship became weird again when I told him Garroth and I broke up. Even after our conversation at the water fountain, I don't think he expected me to end it as soon as I had. I knew he still had feelings for me.
The hard part for him was how I wasn't ready to move on. He waited, but I wasn't ready. I'm still not. There's still the ideas of "what if" where we could've worked it out. Seeing a passing glance of him is awkward. He's Laurance's problem now.
"Mom already posted first day of school photos," Vylad says, stopping in front of us. His phone screen lights up his face. My lips purse together in response. "'It's hard to believe my little babies are no longer babies anymore. My youngest are seniors, and soon they'll be flying out of the nest. I'm a proud, but sad, mama.'"
I haven't received the notification regarding dad yet. I haven't received a message from Cadenza or Laurance either. It'll be lunch before it clicks to Laurance what day it is.
"I appreciate the voice you used when you read that," Kandi comments. She's the one who begins to walk in the direction of class. For once, we have to walk in different directions. Vylad has a class near mine, but I turn off a hall before him. "Very mom."
"She definitely cried when writing this. There's a spelling error."
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It's a give and take with dad. In order to be with me this morning, he went in tonight. I won't see him until later, but it's alright. I'm with the Ro'meaves, and Zianna had more than questions for three sets of parents.
There wasn't much homework. A few "get to know me" questions that were mainly for the teachers, and a few syllabi that needed to be signed. Zianna was willing to sign mine, but I need dad to do it instead.
Laurance never did end up texting me today. Cadenza did when third hour hit. It's valid because she doesn't have to wake up as early as I do. It's a little disappointing that Laurance never said anything.
Vylad reads a book beside me, and I lean my body against his. It's Kandi's turn to set up the table for dinner. I'd rather be here than alone at home. A table for one is lonesome as it is.
Today has just felt off.
"Are you sleeping? You're quiet."
I tilt my head up to look at Vylad. It's comfortable with us again. He's come to accept that I wouldn't want a relationship with anyone right now. He's gone back to being my best friend.
"I wish. 6:30 is too early to wake up on a Monday morning."
He hums in response before going back to reading his book. I pull out my phone and scroll endlessly through TikTok, but there isn't anything that necessarily catches my eye.
The front door opens. I assume Garte has come back until a familiar voice causes my stomach to churn. Zianna comes out overjoyed, and Kandi appears in the doorway with a plate in her hand.
Garroth comes into the room and lets his eyes fall on me and Vylad. I can't decipher the emotion in his eyes, but I can cut the tension in the air with a knife.
Tension Zianna can't sense.
"Gargar? What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to come home and see my baby siblings on their first day of their last year of school," Garroth says. He's hesitant to turn towards me. I don't think he expected me to be here. It's strange he'd think that way. "I think Laurance is doing the same."
I swallow the spit in my mouth and nod my head.
Zianna claps her hands together. "Why! Text him right at this moment and tell him to come over for dinner. I refuse to allow you both to come home without a home-cooked meal. Ramen is not good for my babies."
